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Case study
Stab Eye, Kill Cows
Dear Luang Phaw,
My grandfather came from Pakistan. He strictly observed the faith that worships cows, although he did not force his descendants to follow his views. He married my grandmother, settled down in Thailand and became one of the rich in Payoa province. My grandfather died of old age.
My grandmother loved going to the temple. Being a kindhearted and generous person, she became a supporter of the temple. The abbot called her 'godmother'. She observed 8 precepts at the temple on every Buddhist Holy day.
My mother was a fishmonger in Kwan Payoa. She looked like an Indian with a fair complexion and was beautiful. She took care of her 2 children by her first marriage after her divorce. In her second marriage to my father, she had 3 children of whom I am the youngest. They divorced when I was an infant.
My father was very flirtatious. He had ‘wives’ in every province that he visited. He married again after divorcing my mother. He never took care of my mother and his children. I heard he had passed away after I had grown up.
After divorce, my mother started to (take) drink alcohol every day till she became addicted. She slept (at) everywhere she got drunk; every evening someone would come and tell my grandmother where my drunken mother was. After my elder brother and I returned home from selling ice cream, we had to go and take her back with the pushcart. We always caught her in a drunken state, drooling over; lost in her senses, skirts shamelessly opened. My brother and I were barely 10 years old; still we had to put her on the cart and pushed her home everyday. I felt ashamed each time we dragged her home on the pushcart through the streets with many passersby watching us. I often heard that she had affairs with other men when she was drunk. (But) However, when she wasn't drunk she behaved very well and was kind.
Regarding my mother's death, nobody knew exactly how she died. A neighbor said that she was drunk and came home late one night and called my aunt to open the door for her. She heard a loud quarrel in front of the house. Someone said my aunt hit her over the head with a wooden stick; some said she fell down and hit her head on a stone.
I was born in Payoa province. When I was 11 years old, I moved to stay with my grandmother in Nakhon Sawan province. About 6 months later, we heard of my mother's death and my grandmother also passed away (after) a year later. My elder brother and I found her passed away in her sleep upon our return from selling cinema tickets one night. Since then my family (left) was only me and my elder brother.
After my mother and grandmother passed away, my brother and I had to stay with my aunt. She owned a big butchery shop in Nakhon Sawan province. Our duty was to order the killing of cows and buffaloes everyday, about 6 per day. On a festive day, it would increase to about 10. We performed this duty when we were 12 to 19 years old. This period loomed on me like I was the denizen of hell. Throughout the 7 years, we had to wake up at 8pm each night and go to the outskirts in a tricycle to order cows. We waited while they were being killed and cut up before we brought back the chopped carcasses smelling of blood (stinks) to the market by midnight. Our only days off were the Buddhist Holy days. Later on, I found out that my aunt's daughter had actually doped the iced-coffee for every workers (and) including me for the last 7 years. Nobody was aware of it except sometimes I wondered why we could work so tirelessly for so long.
My aunt rewarded us handsomely with a car and money as remuneration for our hard work. (But) However, I was never happy with this money that was made from killings and cruelty. As soon as I gave in my order for the cows, they would be brought to the killing area and their 4 legs tied apart for the executioner to cut each cow's throat with a sharp knife skillfully till it fell to it’s death. The other cows and buffaloes waiting in the killing area seemed to know their fate. They moaned helplessly for their lives, and tears rolled down from both their eyes. I felt pitiful for them.
There was an event that confirmed my belief in the Law of Kamma and that the fruition of my bad karma was trailing me, like the shadow never leaves the body. Once, my brother-in-law bought a cow; he chose the biggest cow because he thought the heavier it was he could sell for more money. When the cow's stomach was lanced, everyone saw a calf leapt out instead blinking its eyes. He was angry because the pregnancy was the weight and size of the cow, so he abruptly pierced the calf's eye with a knife. The calf's cries were cries of a human baby. But in his rage, he forced the calf against the chopping block, chopped it and threw the pieces into a boiling pot and later ate it angrily.
Law of Karma never exempts anybody. One day, when he was chopping meat, I saw him piercing his own eye with a knife that left him blinded (on one side) in one eye. I thought this might be his bad karma with the calf taking effects on him. Not too long after on a Buddhist Holy day, he came to help me when I was churning meatballs. About half an hour later, I heard his cries loudly. I saw all of his five fingers churned out by the machine that left only those white tendons dangling out of his stumped hand. This incident made me seriously think that I was doing a very sinful job. The thoughts made me frightened and I wanted to get out of this work. At that time, I was 19 years old, looked fair and beautiful. Then my aunt arranged for my marriage to a rich man living nearby. I never thought of marriage because (I am tired) of the example of the married life of my parents. I hate marriage so much that I ran away from my aunt to Bangkok on the eve of my wedding. I felt like I had escaped from (the) hell.
I was determined to start a new life in Bangkok but it didn't happen. Instead I landed up at the police quarters. I didn't know that the cousin whom I stayed with was a middleman for sending women prostitutes to Singapore. I was caught for being mistaken as being involved in sending these Thai women abroad. I suffered very much. My aunt's daughter suggested I asked for mercy from Luang Phaw at Wat Pak Nam. So I went and when I saw Luang Puu's picture at the temple, my tears suddenly came rolling down. At the same time, I got a warm and safe feeling of coming back home. A few days later, the police came to apologise for their mistake(s) and they had caught the culprits. This sister is my Kalyanamitta (good friend), she recommended me to go to Had Yai Kalyanamitta Center. I thought I had to be there as soon as possible. I started pursuing perfection there from 1983.
My worthless life turned into a virtuous life owing to the teachings of Luang Phaw who made me understood my goal in this life. After becoming the daughter of Luang Phaw, I decided to give up drinking, smoking, gambling and doing bad things. From now on, I have the Triple Gem as my refuge, the teachings and will power of Luang Phaw who made me understand the Law of Karma. I (am not sore) don’t feel bad about my life which I used to live. I even recalled my father and mother with sympathy now, and for giving me my life in this world so I started to make merits and share merits to them too.
Many years ago I was sick (of) with severe toxic Thyroid gland and had an emergency operation. I could not talk for 2 months during which I found out an intern had wrongly cut away both of my vocal cords. The intern concluded I would be dumb for life. I prayed and asked from the compassionate Khun Yay to help me regain my voice within 3-7days. I asked for mercy to be able to use my voice again and for Dhamma for the rest of my life. Three days later, I was able to talk until now with a new voice which is better and with harmony compared to the bass old voice.
My grandmother loved going to the temple. Being a kindhearted and generous person, she became a supporter of the temple. The abbot called her 'godmother'. She observed 8 precepts at the temple on every Buddhist Holy day.
My mother was a fishmonger in Kwan Payoa. She looked like an Indian with a fair complexion and was beautiful. She took care of her 2 children by her first marriage after her divorce. In her second marriage to my father, she had 3 children of whom I am the youngest. They divorced when I was an infant.
My father was very flirtatious. He had ‘wives’ in every province that he visited. He married again after divorcing my mother. He never took care of my mother and his children. I heard he had passed away after I had grown up.
After divorce, my mother started to (take) drink alcohol every day till she became addicted. She slept (at) everywhere she got drunk; every evening someone would come and tell my grandmother where my drunken mother was. After my elder brother and I returned home from selling ice cream, we had to go and take her back with the pushcart. We always caught her in a drunken state, drooling over; lost in her senses, skirts shamelessly opened. My brother and I were barely 10 years old; still we had to put her on the cart and pushed her home everyday. I felt ashamed each time we dragged her home on the pushcart through the streets with many passersby watching us. I often heard that she had affairs with other men when she was drunk. (But) However, when she wasn't drunk she behaved very well and was kind.
Regarding my mother's death, nobody knew exactly how she died. A neighbor said that she was drunk and came home late one night and called my aunt to open the door for her. She heard a loud quarrel in front of the house. Someone said my aunt hit her over the head with a wooden stick; some said she fell down and hit her head on a stone.
I was born in Payoa province. When I was 11 years old, I moved to stay with my grandmother in Nakhon Sawan province. About 6 months later, we heard of my mother's death and my grandmother also passed away (after) a year later. My elder brother and I found her passed away in her sleep upon our return from selling cinema tickets one night. Since then my family (left) was only me and my elder brother.
After my mother and grandmother passed away, my brother and I had to stay with my aunt. She owned a big butchery shop in Nakhon Sawan province. Our duty was to order the killing of cows and buffaloes everyday, about 6 per day. On a festive day, it would increase to about 10. We performed this duty when we were 12 to 19 years old. This period loomed on me like I was the denizen of hell. Throughout the 7 years, we had to wake up at 8pm each night and go to the outskirts in a tricycle to order cows. We waited while they were being killed and cut up before we brought back the chopped carcasses smelling of blood (stinks) to the market by midnight. Our only days off were the Buddhist Holy days. Later on, I found out that my aunt's daughter had actually doped the iced-coffee for every workers (and) including me for the last 7 years. Nobody was aware of it except sometimes I wondered why we could work so tirelessly for so long.
My aunt rewarded us handsomely with a car and money as remuneration for our hard work. (But) However, I was never happy with this money that was made from killings and cruelty. As soon as I gave in my order for the cows, they would be brought to the killing area and their 4 legs tied apart for the executioner to cut each cow's throat with a sharp knife skillfully till it fell to it’s death. The other cows and buffaloes waiting in the killing area seemed to know their fate. They moaned helplessly for their lives, and tears rolled down from both their eyes. I felt pitiful for them.
There was an event that confirmed my belief in the Law of Kamma and that the fruition of my bad karma was trailing me, like the shadow never leaves the body. Once, my brother-in-law bought a cow; he chose the biggest cow because he thought the heavier it was he could sell for more money. When the cow's stomach was lanced, everyone saw a calf leapt out instead blinking its eyes. He was angry because the pregnancy was the weight and size of the cow, so he abruptly pierced the calf's eye with a knife. The calf's cries were cries of a human baby. But in his rage, he forced the calf against the chopping block, chopped it and threw the pieces into a boiling pot and later ate it angrily.
Law of Karma never exempts anybody. One day, when he was chopping meat, I saw him piercing his own eye with a knife that left him blinded (on one side) in one eye. I thought this might be his bad karma with the calf taking effects on him. Not too long after on a Buddhist Holy day, he came to help me when I was churning meatballs. About half an hour later, I heard his cries loudly. I saw all of his five fingers churned out by the machine that left only those white tendons dangling out of his stumped hand. This incident made me seriously think that I was doing a very sinful job. The thoughts made me frightened and I wanted to get out of this work. At that time, I was 19 years old, looked fair and beautiful. Then my aunt arranged for my marriage to a rich man living nearby. I never thought of marriage because (I am tired) of the example of the married life of my parents. I hate marriage so much that I ran away from my aunt to Bangkok on the eve of my wedding. I felt like I had escaped from (the) hell.
I was determined to start a new life in Bangkok but it didn't happen. Instead I landed up at the police quarters. I didn't know that the cousin whom I stayed with was a middleman for sending women prostitutes to Singapore. I was caught for being mistaken as being involved in sending these Thai women abroad. I suffered very much. My aunt's daughter suggested I asked for mercy from Luang Phaw at Wat Pak Nam. So I went and when I saw Luang Puu's picture at the temple, my tears suddenly came rolling down. At the same time, I got a warm and safe feeling of coming back home. A few days later, the police came to apologise for their mistake(s) and they had caught the culprits. This sister is my Kalyanamitta (good friend), she recommended me to go to Had Yai Kalyanamitta Center. I thought I had to be there as soon as possible. I started pursuing perfection there from 1983.
My worthless life turned into a virtuous life owing to the teachings of Luang Phaw who made me understood my goal in this life. After becoming the daughter of Luang Phaw, I decided to give up drinking, smoking, gambling and doing bad things. From now on, I have the Triple Gem as my refuge, the teachings and will power of Luang Phaw who made me understand the Law of Karma. I (am not sore) don’t feel bad about my life which I used to live. I even recalled my father and mother with sympathy now, and for giving me my life in this world so I started to make merits and share merits to them too.
Many years ago I was sick (of) with severe toxic Thyroid gland and had an emergency operation. I could not talk for 2 months during which I found out an intern had wrongly cut away both of my vocal cords. The intern concluded I would be dumb for life. I prayed and asked from the compassionate Khun Yay to help me regain my voice within 3-7days. I asked for mercy to be able to use my voice again and for Dhamma for the rest of my life. Three days later, I was able to talk until now with a new voice which is better and with harmony compared to the bass old voice.
Questions:
2. What is my grandfathers’ kamma who worshiped cows? What are the differences in kamma for those worshipping monkeys or snakes? What retributions caused them to worship animals?
3. Why was my mother an alcoholic, slept anywhere and had affairs whenever she got drunk? What were her retributions?
4. Why did my brother-in-law pierce his own eye? What retributions caused his fingers to be churned?
5. What retributions caused me to be dumb for 2 months yet regain my voice with better harmony? Has my dumbness got to do with my ordering cow (order) killings?
6. What retributions caused my brother and me to have difficult childhood lives, orphaned at the ages of 12, and growing up among people who seemed to break precepts, especially the first, third and fifth precept?
7. What extent had my elder brother and I pursued perfection with Dhammakaya Community in the past? Now we are fully expanding the Satellites and intend to be the Chairman of next year's Kathina. Will these merits help me free from the retributions of killing cow orders for 7 years? Are there any ways to rectify this? Would I able to return to the special merit zone of the Tusita realm?
Luang Phaw's Dream
I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)
I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)
1. Your grandfather was born a cow after passing away because he followed the Pakistan tradition to commit himself to respect and worship cows. When mind is committed to anything - men, animals or things, he would be there. He will reborn to be cows for many lives. He could not receive the dedicated merits for being a cow.
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Your grandmother was reborn as a female angel in the third phase of the Tavatimsa realm (second level of heaven) and has a golden heavenly mansion because of the merits that she made in Buddhism. She received your dedicated merits.
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After your father passed away, he is in the third phase of Purgatory because of the drinking and flirtatious kamma. He is climbing the red cotton tree, suffering and is being tortured by the iron mouth crows, iron mouth dogs and the Purgatory officials.
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The dedicated merits reduced his punishment but he is not free from his kamma yet.
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After your mother passed away, she is in the 5th phase of Purgatory. She would have gone to the Great Hell for the bad deeds that she had done, but whenever your grandmother made merits, she had always dedicated the merits to all her children and hence these merits has helped your mother to be in the purgatory instead. She is being tortured and suffered from the hot copper liquid poured by the officials.
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The dedicated merits reduced her punishment but she is not free from her kamma yet.
2. Your grandfather worshipped animals that were cows; because he did not associate with the wise, study and listen to the Dhamma and hence was lacked of wholesome wisdom and merits for many lives.
3. Your mother was bitterly despairing of her present love life and so drank and flirted. In her past life she was a flirtatious man. In this life, she was a woman and hence she had a flirtatious husband and misled her life despairingly.
4. Your brother-in-law present kamma of piercing a calf's eye to blindness, chopped into pieces, boiled and ate it caused him to pierce his own eye to blindness. His present killing of animal kamma caused his fingers to be churned.
5. You were dumb for 2 months due to your past verbal misconduct. In that life, you were a merchant and had sharp tongue, like to reproach the employees when they didn't answer your questioning with “Are you dumb?” You often spoke this way.
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Your regained voice is more melody after being dumb because you had accumulated merits with our community in the past and persuaded other people to do good deeds. Due to your resolution to use your voice to persuade people to do good deeds in this life caused you to regain your voice with better harmony.
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You got toxic Thyroid gland because of the killing order in this life, and you often get angry and irritable.
6. You had difficult childhood life because, in your past life you were not consistently making merits of generosity and you only met our Community when you were getting older.
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In the early stage of that life your association with ruffians caused you to grow up among people who break first, third and fifth precepts.
7. The merits of helping to expand the Satellites and intending to be the chairman of the Kathina could help you close the unfortunate realms. But you have to do this often and include releasing a lot of cows.
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Every time you make merits you have to dedicate merits to all animals you had offended. The retribution will be lightened and would not catch up with you. You have to make all kinds of merits: generosity, observe precepts and meditation, and also persuade others until the end of your life; then made resolution to be in the special merit zone of Tusita every time.
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