MeditationMeditation for PeaceKilling with Kindness: Parents DefendingChildren When They MisbehaveA parent’s love can harm children.“A parent’s love can harm children.” This sentence may go against the feelings of parents, but in reality there are a lot of children who become bad when their parents defend them when they have done something wrong. Hence, parents or theose who want to start a family in the future have very important issues to consider: How do we raise good children and how do we avoid making the mistake of loving our children in the wrong manner where we harm them by defending their wrongdoing?Do Not Take the Children’s SideWhen They Have Done Something WrongIt is a very serious mistake if parents take their children’s side when they have misbehaved or done something wrong.The children will believe that “When you do something good you will receive good in return” is false; and “When you misbehave you receive good in return” is false; and “when you misbehave you receive good in return” is true. When these children grow up they will tend to continuously do bad things. Their misbehavior will cause endless distress to society.Parents must acknowledge the consequences of providing misguided support to their children. Do not show children love through indulgence. If they make a mistake, parents must discipline them. It they make a mistake, parents must discipline them. It is better for the children to suffer a little now rather than letting them suffer throughout their lives.Therefore, if parents do not take their children’s side when the children have done wrong, the children will learn that doing good deeds will definitely yield good consequences. If they do bad deeds, they will have to suffer the inevitable unpleasant consequences.In order to instill virtues in childrenUnderstand the Parameters in Developing Correct HabitsIn order to instill virtues in children, parents must understand that there are two methods for developing habits in children.The first method is to develop the personality traits based on heredity.The transfer of personality traits must occur at the very beginning, before the baby’s arrival. In order for a conception to take place, the child must have a combination of good and bad Kamma that is comparable to the people who will become his parents.So, if the parents are healthy, good, and kind-hearted, there is a good chance that the conception of a child will take place in the mother’s womb. Teaching the baby should begin before the pregnancy and it requires the parents to maintain wholesomeness in body, speech and mind. Eliminate all bad behaviors and observe the Five Precepts diligently in preparation for the conception of the child.At the very least, the new parents must begin training themselves well before entering the marriage. As soon as they realize that the wife is pregnant, they should try even harder to attend to the fetus. They must become even more attentive to their actions, whether it is walking, moving, consuming food, (especially the spicy kind), consuming alcohol of all sorts, taking medicine, or even displaying a bad temperament. The parents have to make sure that these things do not affect them because they have a tendency to influence the baby’s behavior.The second method is to develop the personality traits influenced by the environment or through discipline.You should start teaching your baby the day he opens his eyes to the world. Do not think that the baby is too young to learn. Breast feeding on time is another way to teach a baby about punctuality. Changing the diaper immediately when it is wet can build the habit of cleanliness. Finally, speaking with sweet and gentle words will encourage the baby to be courteous.Wisdom-Teach children to know about the cause and effect of actions,to be able to examine things, and to maintain their temperament.Do Not Allow Children to Continue Making Mistakes Until They Become Bad HabitsA newborn child is pure like a clean white cloth. So, the baby needs a model for his thoughts, speech and actions, Whatever comes to the baby first, he will sue that as his model. Therefore, if the baby receives things that are good, he will have the opportunity to do more good deeds, This solid foundation of what is good can withstand and misconduct that might occur in the later years, thus allowing him to be able to look after himself.The baby’s first few mistakes, which are usually obvious, are easily detected by the parents, prompting them to find a way to correct this behavior immediatedly. However, parents’ ignorance or negligence can allow the baby to become accustomed to that behavior, which can later develop into a bad habit. This habit is repeated because his actions go undetected by an adult. In the end, his good behavior will diminish.Love Your Children is the Correct MannerThe manner in which we offer our love to children is nothing more than instilling virtues within them in order for them to grow up proud in this world.The elements of moral conduct that warrant constant emphasis are as follows.1. Wisdom-Teach children to know about the cause and effect of actions, to be able to examine things, and to maintain their temperament. If the parents are successful, the children will have wisdom and awareness. They will not mistake right from wrong.2. Discipline-Children must be taught to always be punctual, clean, honest, and have purity in body, speech and mind.3. Loving Kindness-This can be done by teaching them to love animals and trees, be polite, friendly, and know how to forgive.When children are instilled with these virtues at an early age, they will be able to absorb other good virtues that their parents and teachers have to offer.Once parents realize this, they want to have exceptional children, they must educate themselves first before having children. They must strictly adhere to the following three virtues: wisdom, discipline and loving kindness. This way, parents will have a chance to conceive a wonderful child. They will be good role models for the child and prevent themselves from harming their children with love." /> " /> " /> " /> " />" />" />" />" />" /> " />" />
Killing with Kindness: Parents Defending Children When They Misbehave
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