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Want to cremate her
Dear Luang Phaw,
I am so excited and happy that I finally sat down and wrote up my own case study. If there were no law of karma from other case studies, I would not have a chance to write up my case today. This is because I may be in prison from killing others. Therefore, I would like to send my story to the most graceful person who devotes himself to broadcast brightness to me and others. He is Luang Phaw who I pay most respect.
I am a hairdresser who was flirt by a young policeman. I did not think of him at the beginning. As time went on, I thought that he was a nice guy. Police is also a good profession; secure, and honor. I was also pushed by my uncle. I then decided to get married with him. Both of us were very blissful when I got pregnant as there would be a little life born from us. I then was put under a doctor’s prenatal care. During the third month of pregnancy, I had miscarriage.
We were very sad and disappointed; but, we did not give up. I was pregnant for the second time. I however faced with disappointment again as I miscarried. I still did not give up and was pregnant the third time. I miscarried again. This time, I had a hemorrhage and needed to scrape the walls of the uterus. It was very painful. Although I miscarried many times, I still hoped to have a baby. I was pregnant the fourth and fifth time. I had to be more careful from the miscarriage twice as much in each of my pregnancy’s period. I went to see doctor on a regular basis and got injection for miscarriage prevention every week. I and my husband had been waiting for the day we would have our baby for lulling. However, no baby wanted to bear with us as I miscarried every time.
When I gave up, my sister told me if I wanted to have a baby for real, I should make a resolution with Luang Pu. I did try to do that. Not long after that I dreamed of him drifting through a window during day time. I was stunned by the dream and did not say anything. I did not tell him anything. However, my wish finally came to me as I started to be pregnant for the sixth time. I rushed to put my pregnancy to the doctor’s prenatal care. Unfortunately; because of unknown retribution, the doctor found abnormality in my pregnancy. I was tired, energy-less, and getting swollen.
At my seventh month, my blood pressure increased and reached to a dangerous point impacting both the mother and baby. The doctor gave me medication. I however did not intake it. The doctor had me to get my blood pressure checked everyday. At my eighth month and four days, I had an appointment again with the doctor. My blood pressure reached 190.
The doctor was alarmed as he diagnosed and found the baby turned green. He decided to request a skilled doctor and relevant experts to do surgery and get the baby out before the maturity date. The doctor thought that the baby would die in this case. They were all tensed during the surgery.
I experienced pain as never before. My blood pressure started to increase more until I was shocked three times during the surgery. The doctor tried to regain my consciousness urgently as it was the time between life or death.
Finally, a crying voice of the baby was heard. It brought relief to everybody as the baby survived. The doctor quickly and carefully checked on any irregularity of the baby. He surprisingly found that the baby is normal and healthy. I now got a baby boy as wished.
Though my wish to have a baby was achieved, another part of my life collapsed and was getting down. After six years of my marriage, my husband was not a good policeman as before. He started to change. He got drunk, played around, and did not get home at the right time. I finally found out that he dated with a prostitute regularly. They had been dating more and more. This hurt me and made me sad. I was infuriated at both my husband and that prostitute very much.
I was rankled very much and thought of killing her. I wanted her to die. The more my husband went out with her, the more feeling of rankling, revenging, and killing her I would have. At that time, I was very depressed; I could not do anything because I always thought of killing her. I went to consult one of my friends, and he forbade me to murder her.
He forbade me every time I wanted to murder her, but his word could not change my mind because I had never given up this thought for 10 years.
After that my husband knew that I thought of killing his lover, and then he came to tell me that he would break up with her. I probed that my husband was still in contact with her. It even made me angrier. I was furious until my mind was blind. Income had decreased, and I had more expenses till we had financial distress.
Because of financial distress, it made me forget to revenge her for a while; but I kept thinking for 3 years of hiring someone to slap her face. During that time, it looked like retribution because my husband turned himself very bad. He was drunk every night, and he shouted and threw stuff. He also tried to throw me from the second floor and pointed a gun to my head hoping to kill me, but I survived.
I was thinking of burning my husband alive. During that time, I felt like my house was on fire, and I did not know what to do. This made my relatives worry about me much. My sister came to install Dhamma Satellite, and told me to watch and use Dhamma as a refuge.
Since then I watched DMC 24 hours because I do not have anything to rely on except Dhamma from Laung Phhaw. This makes me calm and mild. I started to understand Dhamma and law of Karma from case study, which helped me to let it go and stop thinking of murdering that woman. My neighbors wonder why I have changed a lot. I am being alive again. I do not look like a person whose husband has an affair. Although, my husband goes back and forth between my and her house, I think that is good. I could save more expenses while he is not here because no one will ask for money to buy liquor.
After my seventh sister got married, she invited her husband go to Dhammakaya temple to accrue merits. But after his mother knew, she shouted and blamed my sister and tried to get rid of her from the house by inciting my sister’s husband that my sister had an affair. He could not argue with his mother, and then he ran away from the house to eliminate all problems. Even worse because my sister was then accused by her mother-in-law that she was the one who killed her son and buried his dead body in a forest.
My sister had to wait for one year till her husband came back. She wanted to prove that she did not murder her husband. After that she decided to divorce because she thought that she is not rich in this life and if she stays here, she would be forbidden to accrue merits. Her next life would be worse and more suffered than this life. After my sister divorced with her husband, she seems like having a new life, happy and with freedom. She often goes to temple and holds 8 precepts, and also can accrue merit as much as she wants. She intends to build the Dhamma retreat centre at our home town, Krabi. She is very happy now.
Currently she has health problem. Since December last year at 37 years old, she had high fever, and she could not sleep on her side. She went to see doctor, and a doctor diagnosed that she had Pulmonary Edema. The doctor drilled to take water out, but the second drill was mistakenly punctured to air sac. This makes her tired easily and weak until now.
My sixth sister rigorously practiced Buddhism since she was in high school. She went to meditate at temples. After she went to study in Bangkok, she changed to believe in Christianity according to her friend. And after she got married, she again switched to Islamism to follow her husband.
The thing that is against her feelings is she really likes to eat pork because it is delicious. She always eats pork secretly, but her husband caught her. He used black magic to prevent her to eat pork. Since then when she has pork, she will vomit and have a severe headache.
My grandfather was a diligent and generous person. He liked to attain merits at temples. He often cooked food for people who came to temple, everyone loved him. He died at the age of 85, with age disease.
I would like to ask the following questions:
1. What retribution made me miscarry 5 times? Where have my 5 unborn babies been reborn? What wholesomeness brought me to successfully have one child? Did Luang pu call on him to be reborn and protect him until he was safely delivered?
2. What kamma caused me to have toxemia and very high blood pressure during my sixth pregnancy? What kamma had I and my son done together? What merits that he had accrued made him healthy after he was born as well as easy to be raised?
3. What retribution brought me a drunk and flirtatious husband who abuses me as well as thinks of killing me when he is drunk? Had we had retribution in the past? How can I resolve this?
4. Why was I very furious having thoughts of killing the prostitute and hiring someone to slap her face to revenge for 13 years? Had I and that woman had retribution together? How much demerits will I receive from these deeds? What retribution will I have in the future?
5. How many lives will the retribution follow, if one thinks of killing human with furious thoughts for only 1 time? What if one has been thinking for 13 years, how many lives will the retribution follow? What are the factors that contribute to the number of lives that retribution will follow?
6. What kamma made my seventh sister and her husband divorce as a result from his mother’s incitation? What retribution had my sister; her husband and his mother have together? How should she resolve this?
7. What kamma did my seventh sister have so she had Pulmonary Edema and a doctor intended to puncture the lung but mistakenly punctured air sac which makes my sister easily get tired until now? Will she be cured? What should she do? Will she have merits to successfully establish the meditation centre in Krabi?
8. What kamma made my sixth sister change religions often and finally believe in Islamism? Is she spelled by black magic to not eat pork? How can she resolve this?
9. Where has my paternal grandfather been reborn after passing away? How is his living condition? Has he received the merits that I have dedicated to him? Has he passed any message to me?
10. How had I, my husband, my son and two of my sisters pursued perfection with Dhammakaya community? Had we ever attained inner Dhammakaya? Where did my son come from before he was reborn? How firm is his ordination blueprint?
I would like to pay my highest respects to you.
Luang Phaw's Dream
I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)
1. You miscarried 5 times because of your past retribution. In the past life, you had a husband. Later your husband had mistress and brought her to live in the house. When the mistress was pregnant, you put abortion drug in her food and she ate it and miscarried. You did that for 5 times.
- You finally have a child successfully because; in that past life, the mistress later knew about your plotting so she moved back to her parents’ house and was successfully pregnant. Therefore, your sixth pregnancy attempt is successful because you did not make the mistress’ sixth pregnancy be miscarried and also because of your wish to have ten virtues of Luang Pu protect you to succeed in sixth pregnancy attempt.
2. You had toxemia when you were pregnant sixth time and had very high blood pressure because; although, in that past life, your husband’s mistress returned to live in her parents’ house and succeeded in sixth pregnancy, your mind in that life still wished her to miscarry. The retribution caused you have toxemia during pregnancy and high blood pressure as well as you greatly suffered during sixth pregnancy.
- Your son in this life is also your son in that past life; who helped you to serve the food to his father’s mistress and made her miscarry 5 times as previously mentioned.
- After he was born, your son is normal and healthy as well as easy to raise; because he has wholesomeness from short-term ordination in Buddhism and seriously practiced monastic observances to protect him.
3. You have a drunk and flirtatious husband who likes to hurt you as well as think of killing you because these were pictures of your past life when you were a man who liked to get drunk, flirt with other women and hurt his wife like what you experience in this life.
- You and your husband do not seek revenge from each other since the past life but it is your past retribution and your husband’s new retribution.
- You should forgive him and accrue all merits as well as make wishes to escape from this retribution.
4. You were very furious to have been thinking of killing the prostitute and hiring someone to slap her face to revenge for 13 years mainly because of your present malice. You have not sought revenge from her since past life.
- This performance is considered a level of angriness, vengefulness and fury but is not an execution. However, doing in this way hurts yourself as it makes your mind dull and you probably are a female ogre after passing away at that moment.
- To resolve, you have to not take this feeling to your heart and forgive because it is about defilements in a mind of human that are still reborn in cycle of existence as well as accrue all merits and make wishes to escape from these things.
5. Retribution from thinking of killing human with furious for only 1 time is to have furious mind, have rough complexion, have non-attractive appearance and be ugly for many lives.
- If one had been thinking about this for 13 years, the aforementioned retribution will last for many more lives or at least 500 lives.
- The factor of how many lives for retribution’s consequence depends on repetition of thinking. The more repetitions, the more lives it is.
6. Your seventh sister and her husband divorced as a result from his mother’s incitation because your seventh sister and her mother-in-law have sought revenge to each other from their past lives. The story was that your sister, in that past life, was mother-in-law but not a mother of your present’s husband and her mother-in-law was a daughter-in-law like your sister in this life. In that past life, they argued and had conflict so your sister blamed her daughter-in-law and incited her son to divorce from his wife. Eventually, your sister’s son and his wife divorced so your sister and her daughter-in-law had sought revenge to each other from that past life. Once they meet again in this life, it is your sister’s turn to be treated.
- Her present ex-husband has not sought revenge from her from the past life but they had accrued merits together only this much so they could be together just that long.
7. Your seventh sister had Pulmonary Edema. A doctor intended to puncture the lung but mistakenly punctured air sac which makes your sister easily get tired until now. It is because; in the past life when she was born in agricultural family, in her teenage years, she sometimes caught fishes to either play or cook. When she caught fishes, she regularly liked to leave them on ground so they strugglingly wriggled and then she used wooden stick to scratch them to see their reaction for fun.
- Have your sister free animals, fishes and accrue all merits as well as dedicate to animals she had often threatened. Your sister is possibly fully recovered.
- Your sister has to find meritorious persons to jointly build meditation centre so that the project becomes successful.
- She has to regularly meditate, make wishes, and provide strength and mental support as well as financial support.
8. Your sixth sister has changed religion often and finally believes in Islamism because she has uncertain disposition from her past lives when she liked to try new things all the time. No matter who persuaded her to believe whatever religion, she had never refused and did not use her intellect to consider carefully.
- It is true that she is spelled by black magic to not eat pork. It is similar to light command drug that is mixed with pork together with black magic spells so that she throws up every time she eats pork.
- It works with her because she has disheartened and unstable mind as well as does not have triple gem as a refuge.
- Eat or not eat pork is up to you but do not eat meat that you order someone to kill or someone kills just for you. Also, regularly meditate so your mind becomes clear and pure.
9. After passing away, your paternal grandfather becomes smart ogre in the first level of heaven [catumaharajika] from wholesomeness he had traditionally accrued in Buddhism and lived life in agricultural society.
- He has received merits you have dedicated to him. He has better living conditions in all aspects.
- He passed thank-you message and rejoices merits you have dedicated to him. The merits make him happier and have more comfortable living.
10. You, your husband, your son and your 2 sisters used to pursue perfection with Dhammakaya community as a provider in irregular basis so that some lives we had met but the others we had not.
- Your son is the baby you miscarried for 5 times in this life. He was your son in the life that he conspired with you to bring food mixed with abortion drug to his father’s mistress so that she miscarried 5 times as mentioned previously.
- He has wholesomeness from short-term ordination with Dhammakaya community.
- If he will ordain for long term, he requires high encouragement. In this life, if he meditates seriously and regularly as well as correctly, he would be able to attain inner Dhammakaya.
- Since we have met each other in this life, therefore you must try to pursue perfection in all merits with fullest efforts and make a wish to follow the Dhammakaya community to the fourth level of heaven (Tusita), in the special merit zone – bodhisatta as well as do not be apart from each other again.