Not knowing the truth of life is extremely dangerous and
because of it I made many errors before I got to know Wat Phra Dhammakaya.
I would like to ask for your compassion to dream in dream
for my family please. I am from
They have 6 children and I am the
eldest. My mother passed away since I was 11 years old.
3 years later my father remarried
to a young woman who is 33 years his junior and they have 4 children.
Ever since we had the stepmother
there were conflicts frequently at home because my father tended to favour her
who was only 5-6 years older than me
I felt discriminated even though
my father said that he loved everyone equally.
As I am a Thai woman with a strong
character and assertiveness I would be the leader in inciting my siblings from
the same mother to fight with my stepmother regularly.
Until father had to say directly to me that if I purposely did something wrong it was as if I did it to him not to my stepmother.
My father’s plea made me endure
and tried not to have any problems with my
stepmother
As my father and stepmother didn’t have time to take care of my siblings and I, I had to take care of my siblings from my mother all the time.
When I was 25 I finished year 12
from the adult high school and also my siblings could look after themselves.
During that time I was very bored with life and felt that as I had fulfilled my
duties I wanted to die.
But not to commit suicide, I
wanted to die by accident i.e. I walked on the street and didn’t give way to
cars so that they would run me over. But no car wanted to hit me they kept
avoiding me so I am still alive.
Until one morning I heard a monk teaching from a radio. His teaching matched with all my thoughts especially about how to make life valuable.
I searched for him until I found
him. I have listened to his teaching about gratitude towards parents i.e. if
our parents passed away; we should meditate and dedicate the merit to them. The
word meditation struck me directly.
I therefore kept on searching for the teaching from many temples and provinces but they didn’t satisfy me.
Sometimes I couldn’t understand the teaching. I used to read and meditate by using the breathing technique “Buddho” but I felt uncomfortable and couldn’t breathe so I stopped.
Since my mother passed away I
always had a pertinent question in my mind that what life was about and why our
lives were different. I didn’t know whom to ask until after I married
a German and moved to
At the end of June 2006 I had an opportunity to visit a friend house in Deggendorf. She showed me the calendar of Wat Phra Dhammakaya. As soon as I saw your photo I was very impressed by it and said to myself this is it.
I asked her for the calendar to keep it at home but when I saw a big temple with lots of people, my mind resisted and I criticized that why such a big temple, why did they build such a temple they must be materialist.
But when I asked the knowers they tended to say that these topics were not to be questioned. They were only to be known amongst the high level meditators.
As soon as I got home I bowed to your photo and asked for your forgiveness. I meditated and said to myself that I had found the teacher that I had been seeking for a long time why should I be still stubborn. If I let this opportunity passed by, I would be very stupid.
Then I went to the Wat Buddha Augsburg following the invitation from my kalyanamitta (virtuous friend).
When I saw the main Buddha image there, I was stunned and was moved to tears I said to myself oh! I have seen many Buddha images but never felt at peace and happy like today. The Buddha image was so graceful and was exactly what I was after.
I then immediately contributed to the casting of the personal Buddha image, accepted the robe for 2005 Kathina and resolved.
I like to be your follower for the rest of my life and through
lives till the utmost of the Dhamma.
My mother had a hard life when she was young, my grandparents didn’t love her and they were going to force her into an arranged marriage. Therefore she eloped with father.
At that time mother was 10 months pregnant with her 7th child. She didn’t go onto the labor. Therefore the doctor sent her to the hospital for cesarean.
The following morning she died at the hospital with the fetus in her womb. The doctor diagnosed that she died because of hypertension and heart failure.
During the first half of the year after she passed away, she came to see me 3 times. The first time I saw her walking towards our house in the daytime I was frightened and ran away.
The second time I intended to play in the water after washing clothes in the canal. But when I looked at the opposite bank I saw mother standing there with angry face, I was frightened and ran away again. She probably knew that I couldn’t swim therefore she forbade me.
The 3rd time while I was cooking I thought of mother that I had to add this and that. But as I looked up through the window I saw her standing in the opposite house and smiling.
I was frightened, dropped the wok and ran in the house. My father was in the good mood in general. He liked to tell us the history and used the Chinese story of “3 groups” to teach morality to us. He smoked cigar and drank alcohol sometimes when he socialized.
3 years after mother passed away, father stopped his dry cleaning business and sold rice with chicken instead. Father killed chickens himself and didn’t allow the children to help.
When he had 4 children with my stepmother he had more work. He was stressed, had bad temper and scolded us often.
As for myself and my siblings from my mother, when we grew up and could look after ourselves, we all left home but everyone still sent money to father.
The truth was exposed when there were bruises in father’s body. The doctor diagnosed that he had bruises in his heart, lungs and his liver was crushed. The villagers also confirmed that father was physically abused
I had to
solve the problems for him every time. He was not addicted to drugs but he
wanted to try everything.
The one I knew very well was marijuana, the place where he smoked was not a dangerous one as he didn’t have to run away from anyone i.e. he did it at my place.
He promised to ordain for life that made me very happy but after 7 years he disrobed and got married. The reason being that not too long after his ordination, he was assigned to build a new temple, he had to be responsible for so many things including workers and building materials.
And also monks that came with him broke the rules secretly (had dinner). All these soon became a heavy burden to him. He didn’t have the time to meditate. Finally he solved the problems by disrobing to free himself from those duties and later got married.
I would like to ask the following questions:
1. What made mother
had a hard life in her tender age. She was
not loved by her parents and was almost forced into arranged
marriage, died with the fetus in her womb and at the moment where is she. Did
she really come to see me those 3 times and why?
2. What retribution
made father being molested by his son from my stepmother until he finally died?
Where did he go after he died?
3. Will the son from
my stepmother go to Aveci major hell when he dies because he killed father? Can
the merit from attaining Phra Dhammakaya help relatives in all hells including Aveci
and Lokantara major hell, and how?
4. What retribution
do I have with my real younger brother, as I have to solve every problem for
him?
What is the difference in the demerit between the fact that
my brother used drugs and was not addicted to it and if he was addicted to it?
5. What is the
retribution of my younger brother who after ordination had to be in charge of
building a new temple but didn’t finish it?
When he promised to ordain for life but he disrobed before
that, was it sinful?
What was his ordination diagram as he only ordained for 7
years?
6. What retribution made me become orphan and had the duty
to look after my 5 siblings in my tender age?
When I was bored with life, I walked into cars to get run
over but I’ve never got hit, why?
What merit made me interested in Buddhism since my youth and
was struck with the word meditation?
7. What retribution that made me understand your teaching
and I changed my habit very quickly even though at the beginning I didn’t agree
with it,
that surprised my husband and my younger sister, they
thought that I was brainwashed?
8. How did my husband and I pursue perfection with the
Dhammakaya community and what made me come to know you when I was as old as 53?
I was pregnant and had 2 miscarriages and never conceived
again was it due to any kamma?
9. I am a nurse and have to look after old
people, some are confused and couldn’t help themselves, some are violent and
beat me,
Was it due to the alcohol related kamma
that made me experienced this? What made me have to look after this group of people?
10. At the moment I
intended to set up a business involving food and traditional Thai massage with
the same kalyanamitta (virtuous friend).
How did we accrue merit together and will the business be
successful?
My kalyanamitta and I are thinking of setting up a meditation centre or another temple in this zone will it be successful?
I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)
1. Your mother had a hard life in her tender age, she
- She died with the fetus in her womb because in the past life she was born in an agricultural society she killed pregnant cows for food, that attracted the child that had the similar kamma to come to be born to her and died in the womb with the mother!
- after she died she roamed around near you with concern. And your attachment towards each other made you really see your mother those 3 times
- when you all grew up she felt relieved and was reborn as a human already!
The story is they used to be enemies i.e. there were 2
groups of hooligans who had bad feelings and ill will for each other; they
fought continuously for many lives.
Until one person in the groups of hooligans was reborn as a
chicken and was killed by your father for food in this live time.
Before it died it bred ill will with your father and was conceived to his 2nd wife. When the son was born he had the habit of associating with fools that followed him from previous life and he did associate with them until he became drug addicted and came to molest father due to the kamma from ill will he had bred.
- After father died the clouded mind and obscure vision made the killing kamma (Panatibata kamma) draw him to the Panatibata major hell.
He in the body of half chicken and half human is being cut by the denizens of hell. He died and reborn uncountable times.
- He is in agony and couldn’t receive any merit dedicated to him ---but you should make merit and dedicate it to him frequently. It will wait for him in Yomaloka (Purgatory)!
That alleviated the serious transgression but still he has to go to yomaloka (purgatory) of the Aveci major hell anyhow!
- the merit arised from attainment of Phra Dhammakaya is not enough to help relatives from every hell. You must attain “ Vijja Dhammakaya” but to what level of subtlety and what degree of perfection!
- if you attain subtle Vijja Dhammakaya and have higher perfection like Khun Yay then you can help them in every hell!
- The fact that your brother is not addicted to drug even though he used it, he will also have retribution but it is slighter than the addicted one i.e. in his last moment he will have vision of the misdeed.
The people who take drug but didn’t become addicted will end up in Yomaloka (purgatory) only. But the drug addicted ones will have to go to major hell!
But it is a different story from incomplete temple as the person dies first i.e. when the merit comes to fruition the result depends on the power of the merit, i.e. the person would have a prosperous life but will not reach the peak as he will die before but it is still better than the first instance!
-
He promised that he would ordain for life but later disrobed is not sinful but the diagram of “doing thing by half” will follow him.
-
He ordained for 7 years only because he had a short-term ordination diagram and he didn’t have enough merit to complete the construction of the temple.
And also as he didn’t associate with Pundit or monks who were kalyanamitta that made his life like that.
As for taking care of your siblings in the present life it is the merit in supporting your relatives.
-
When you felt bored with life and walked on the street for cars to run over you but you were safe because you didn’t have the kamma of committing suicide and also you still had the connecting merit with our community!
-
You were interested in Buddhism since you were young and were struck with the word “meditation” because the merit that you accrued in Buddhism and with our community reminded you!
These include generosity(dana), precepts(sila) and meditation(bhavana) therefore any of these words could strike you!
In the past life you used to accrue merit with our community
in which you had conflict with someone, you felt hurt and liked to get out of
the community but you didn’t.
This feeling made you feel resisted the community in the beginning and that delayed you in joining our community. And you understood later when the old merit that you have made with the community came to fruition.
-
You used to be pregnant and had 2 miscarriages and never conceived again because of the kamma in the past life when you were born in a agricultural society as mentioned and you rejoiced when you saw your mother killed pregnant animals for food for the family!.
These kamma made you have this career and you have to face people who want to release their anger at you as they felt as if you were their maid more than a nurse!
Don’t fight but look for each other’s good points and work out the benefit clearly, you will succeed but if you fight it will be a disaster.
-
as for your thought of setting up a temple or a meditation center you must unify your strength, effort, heart and financial resources, don’t fight and resolve every day that meritorious people come and help build it then your wishes will be fulfilled!
- Since you’ve met the Dhammakaya community in this life, be determined to pursue perfection intensively in every merit and resolve to follow the community to Tusita (the Fourth level of heaven), the special merit zone, the Borom Bodhisatta area and never stray away from our community! (Sadhu)
Desktop Version
