Want To Say I Love You

I pay my highest respect to you, Luang Phaw.

   Although the earth can be like a pen, the sky like paper, the ocean like ink, we still can not write down all of our mother’s kindness. It is as if something has prevented him from realizing the kindness of our parents. My younger brother has continuously brought sorrow to our parents.  It also took my husband almost 20 years before he could call his father, “father.” I don’t see any person, except for you, who can turn over and disclose what kammic retribution has caused these problems.  I ask for your kindness to help.

When my younger brother was young, he was quite diligent. However, when he grew up, he caused our mother severe distress because he was quite promiscuous. He was quite a playboy.  Many girls were infatuated with him. He had turned himself into a deceitful son who deceitfully asked for money from our parents to nourish his girls all the time, in spite of knowing that our parents’ GDP mainly came from being tailors.  This has made the GNH or Gross National Happiness steadily decrease every single day. Although he remembers the lyrics of the “Kha Nam Nom” (Value of Mother’s Milk) song really well, his actions don’t reflect that. His girls were a higher priority than his parents.    Our parents have no doubt that he was under the influence of black magic. They took my younger brother to a black magic master to remove the curse. The master used a lot of raw eggs, recited a spell, and rolled the eggs on brother’s body from head to toe before he broke the eggs in a bowl.  My father was stunned upon seeing what came out from the eggs. There were several long hairs and more than 30 three-inch nails.  But when we took my brother back home, his condition did not improve. Relatives suggested we have a made up “cremation ceremony” for him. We put the puppet, a replica of himself, and his belongings into a coffin and burnt them off so that all the bad things would go away. But his symptoms did not change.

    One day, my brother was really stressed. He walked around frantically and ripped our father’s collar off. He lay down and then stared angrily, baring his teeth and canines. So, we took him to the hospital and chained him to the bed. He did not take any food. He slept silently with crossed furious eyes on his anxious face. Sometimes he cried out loudly in the hospital. My mother gave him holy water to drink and rubbed his body so he could calm down. After he left the hospital, our mother took him to ordain at a temple. During his ordination, he looked so bright with a calm and peaceful manner. His speech and teachings were respected by many monks and lay people. But after he disrobed, he returned to having the same strange condition. My mother has to live apart from him, so that she won’t feel sorry for him.

          Ever since my husband was young, he never called his father, “father,” because he felt that his father did not love him very much. My father-in-law loved to drink and act wildly. Sometimes he dressed like a monk using a blanket as the monk’s robe.  My mother-in-law could not accept this, so she used her wisdom to stop this by enlisting the help of a doctor. When my husband’s father was extremely drunk, she put pig’s blood on his mouth and took him to the doctor and had the doctor tell him that he had seriously high blood pressure and could die if he did not stop drinking. Thereafter, my father-in-law stopped drinking for more than 10 years. Soon after that, my husband was accepted at Songkhla Naklin University in Hat Yai for his undergraduate education in Engineering Science. He had to leave his parents in Chiang Mai to go to Hat Yai. Before he left, his father asked him to call him “father” at least once. Although this is generally not a difficult thing to say, but for him, he had to make up his mind for a long while before he would say, “father,” for the first time. My mother and younger sister were hiding behind a ladder listening to him with joy and tears.  It was a good start for father and son. But unfortunately, after he left to Hat Yai, his father passed away from a stroke at the age of 54.  His mother did not inform him, because she afraid that if he came to the funeral, his father’s relatives might prevent him from going back to study.  During his summer vacation, my husband learned about the 13th Dhammadayada Ordination Program in 1985, which was the first one held outside the temple grounds. He took this opportunity to ordain and dedicate the merit to father.

    When he was a student, my husband helped organize the 1st Path of Progress Ethics Quiz Contest in the Southern provinces of Thailand. He also helped organize a ceremony of offering alms to 1,000 monks, which was considered to be the largest alms offering event ever organized in the southern provinces at that time.  He also practiced meditation at Wat Paknam in Hat Yai and took care of Luang Pu Aep at that temple. Later, he found that Luang Pu Aep was a disciple of Luang Pu Wat Paknam, who was sent to spread the Dhamma teachings in the southern provinces.  Towards the end of Luang Pu’s life but before he passed away, my husband had taken care of him and gave him massages to relieve his pain and fatigue. But Luang Pu’s condition worsened and he passed away. Friends said that it was because my husband gave him massages that were too strong. This has always remained on my husband’s mind.

    My husband still has 2 things that have remained on his mind.  The first one is, when he was around 3 years old, he behaved in a strange manner.  He liked to take chilies off trees and eat them like candy.  He ate chilies until he was full. Adults would tell him to stop but he wouldn't.  Later, they smashed bitter eggplant onto the chilies.  My husband, who was a victor against the spice, lost to the bitterness and stop eating chilies.  The second event was when he was 7 years old.  He and his friends went swimming in a small canal near the old palm tree where many people have died before.  Because he wanted to swim but was not a strong swimmer, he drowned after going halfway across the canal.  His friends saw him drown, became afraid, and ran away.  They ran away and hid in their houses without telling anyone that my husband drowned.  Probably because of his old merit, somebody saw him and yelled for help.  A street sweeper took off his clothes, prayed, and then jumped into the water to help my husband.  The street sweeper said he saw a dark shadow around my husband’s body.  My husband was unconscious, dark and had a mouth full of dirt, but he got to the hospital in time.

    My husband's grandfather liked fishing and rooster fighting.  He saw something strange when my husband was around 3 years old.  One day in the evening, he was sitting and smoking in the house.  He saw my husband walk up to the house and walk into the small bedroom.  He thought that my husband was going to bed.  Then a relative came looking for my husband so that he could give him a bath. My husband’s grandfather told him that he saw my husband go to bed.  The relative went looking and didn't find my husband.  My husband’s grandfather confirmed that he saw him with his own eyes. So, everyone went looking for my husband and finally found my husband sleeping at an aunt's house.  So everyone was confused about who my husband’s grandfather had seen.  After that, he seemed dull and behaved strangely.  During the day, he would sleep in bed, and at night he would refreshingly looked for food in the kitchen.  And when someone would see him, he would fall down and lose his energy.  His condition worsened.  He would sit up and act like he was fishing and say he caught a fish.  Sometimes, it was as if something was stuck in his throat and he wanted someone to shake his neck like a rooster in a fight. In the end, he died at the age of 75.

    My mother-in-law began going to the temple in the last 10 years of her life.  She regularly helped arrange flowers at the temple nearby.  When she was 68, she fell ill with lung cancer.  She couldn't drink or eat any liquid foods; she would vomit.  The doctor said the cancer spread to the esophagus. On her last day around 6 p.m., she wanted to make merit with a monk.  She wanted to make a merit and invited the abbot from the temple near her house to make an offering.  The monk gave a blessing.  She was still conscious, received the blessing, and spoke understandably.  People thought she was not going to die yet.  At the time, most of the relatives were here at the house.  After the monk left, she lay down extending her hands towards the back end of the bed and said, “Let's go!”  All the relatives were confused. Who did she speak to?  When night fell, her condition worsened and we had to send her to the hospital.  The next morning, the nurse said the she was sleeping and acted like she was dancing. She said that somebody came to her in a dream, dancing and welcoming her to go with them.  The next day, passed away peacefully at the age of 68. My sister-in-law and my friends helped chant the Jinna Pan Jon to her all night.  The first night of the funeral at around 8 p.m., a neighborhood teenager heard partying noises coming from my mother-in-law’s house and around midnight another neighbor saw her walking around on the first floor.

    My son was ordained as a novice during the summer session twice.  He received the honorable Buddhist robe 2 years in a row. My family and I were proud (but it’s not over yet) that my son ordained from the time he was little and the first time he meditated, he saw a crystal ball and a Buddha image. Sometimes, he would even see Luang Pu.

    Once, the school arranged for a meditation lesson. My son meditated by swaying back and forth, and the monk instructor thought he was sleeping. The monk punished him by having him meditate longer.  When my husband went to pick him up, my son told him that Luang Pu said that my husband would sell 2 parcels of land.  My husband thought about the land that he had wanted to sell for many years.  And our family has been making resolutions, hoping it would sell.  Many of the other investors have died and the land still hasn't sold. Three days after that, someone came to make an offer for the parcel of land that was the most difficult to sell; they purchased it in the amount of 7.7 million baht. Three months later, my husband easily sold another parcel of land for 1.9 million baht.  The buyer didn't negotiate at all.  The price was a lot higher than the estimate we received. This made a wealthy person like me shout out loudly.  I hurried to use part of the money to pay off debts and another part to donate.  Although I am not that rich, I am starting the life of giving like our great teacher.

 

4.  When your husband was a child, he ate a lot of chilies because of kamma from his past life. He had a parrot as a pet and kept him in a cage. He wanted the parrot to be talkative. So, he fed the parrot too many chilies and nothing else. This kammic retribution sent its effects.