Don’t Let the Liver Ache And Don’t Die

    Although I had left Thailand for California in 1983, a kalyanamitta had introduced me to the path to pursuing perfections with the group. Since then, I have meditated and accumulated merit at the Dhammakaya International Meditation Center in California every week and watched the DMC channel regularly ever since it began broadcasting on the internet.  The first time I saw Luang Phaw, he looked very bright and graceful. Tears fell from my eyes with happiness. I also cast a personal Buddha image inscribing the name of the Great Abbot Luang Pu, Luang Phaw, and Khun Yay. I donated for the building of the concrete pile of Maha Dhammakaya Cetiya, the pillars in the Meditation Hall, and other merits which I did according to my might or at my full might, including those merits I did myself and invited others to do.

My family had once owned a rice mill in the Banglen subdistrict, Banglen district, in Nakorn Pathom province. At that time, our financial status was good. But later, with the economic crisis, we generated a loss and sold our business.  Instead, we had a new business of raising pigs. We began from raising a few pigs to expanding our business to around 3,000 to 4,000 pigs.   We also traded rice and food for animals. Our finances had improved once again. We continued the business for 10 years. But after that, the market price for pork fell. So we generated a loss and slowly gave up the business.

My father was a temperamental, easy to anger, impetuous person. He had 2 wives. My mother was his main wife and lived with my father until death parted them. They had 8 children. My father did not have time to make merit at the temple, but whenever someone told him about a merit project, he would join in creating merit with them. He never objected when I created merit with the temple.  But, since he was Chinese, he tended to prefer worshiping or make offerings to the Chinese supernatural spirits rather than making merit at the temple.

My father became paralyzed for a period of time, but he was cured and healthy again. Before he died, he had chest pain for a few days, couldn’t eat much, and passed away on the last day of 1995, at the age of 72.

My mother loved her children very much. She was healthy and liked to release fish. Although she had never gone to the temple, she offered alms and worshiped Chinese supernatural spirits everyday. Later, my mother had a stroke. At that time, she couldn’t help herself and always needed someone to assist her to move around. Before she died, she was ill. She could not even hold a spoon and could not eat for several days. We took her to the hospital. My mother died peacefully at the hospital at the age of 82.

    My oldest brother loved all his family members. He was a calm person, but never was successful in life. Any business he had, whether it was selling auto parts, fish farming, or a longan nursery garden, he was never able to build up his wealth.  He died at the age of 49.  On that day, he and his son drove to the longan garden.  He had a headache, so he let his son do the garden work alone while he rested in the car instead.  When his son returned to the car after work, he found that his father was unconscious and his body had turned green. He did not know what caused his death.

    My third oldest brother had owned a motorcycle repair shop, but was also not successful as it did not generate enough income. So he turned to open a restaurant with his wife. But he died shortly after that. On the day he died, he went to take a bath. But we felt that it had been too long since he went it there, so we went in to see. We found him lying on the floor, already having passed away, at the age of 41.

My youngest brother has 2 children from his first marriage. He lived in Bangkok, but when he had problems with his wife, they separated.  Later, he moved to work in Ubon Ratchathanee province. He married again and had 2 children. My youngest brother worked for a company. He sometimes had to entertain and take his clients overseas, or sometimes he had to go to Bangkok for a seminar, so he hardly had time for his wife and two children.

One day, he unintentionally killed a person by running his car into that person. He was really frightened, but fortunately, his company took care of the charges, preventing him from going through any legal proceedings.

He was an economical person and had good manners. We never knew that he had financial problems until the police tried to catch him in Banglen district. We found out that he cheated his company out of its money. And we later learned that, his wife lost all that money in gambling and cheated on him as well.

During that time, he had to avoid the police, but he came to visit his children sometimes. With problems with work and his family, he ended his life with suicide. He mixed poison into milk for his 10 year old son and 5 year old daughter and then poisoned himself to death after that.  He left a letter to his wife apologizing for bringing her burden. Fortunately, someone took them to the hospital. The doctor was able to detoxify my brother, but he was in the ICU for 6 days and passed away.  His son died immediately. His daughter survived.
 
    Although I did not have a difficult time with money, I had a difficult time with my body.  I used to stand at work for 8 hours for 10 straight years because I was a controller for a machine at a factory.  Four years ago, my legs hurt so much. The doctor recommended taking pain killers for joints.  I took pills everyday, but the problem still occured intermittently.  I thought I just had a nerve problem. Then, in May 2003, my legs swelled and hurt so much.  If I bent my leg inward, I could not move my leg back.  I went to the doctor and the doctor said the ligament was torn and I needed an operation.  The procedure was, cutting 2 small openings, putting a camera in one opening and a tool in the other opening.  After the operation, the doctor said that it was not a 100% cure, as I have had this problem for a long time.  The tissue was way too torn to be fixed and I might need a new knee.  Instead of taking better care of myself, when I changed jobs, I came back to standing, controlling a machine for 8-10 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I don't know if I am abusing my body too much.