Venerable Luang Phor, Sir, People like to say that going out to drink alcohol with friends is a means to strengthen unity and promote relationships. It is regarded as promoting friendship. I just wonder if the friendship amongst drinkers will last long.
Answer
by Venerable Dhattajeevo Bhikku
Consumption of intoxicants causes various kinds of loss, ranging from the loss of wealth, consciousness and sense of decency, to undermining intelligence.
This misconception about drinking alcohol has become acceptable. In fact it lessens one’s wisdom and leads the drunkards to hell after death.
Whenever one takes intoxicants, he is in fact getting on the route to hell. It is impossible to find a true friend in the circle of drunkards. Instead, he is associating with absent-minded people and who are as good as being fellow travelers to the hell realm.
The bond of friendship can be only initiated and maintained through sobriety and generosity. The lack of giving breaks all kinds of relationships i.e. relationships between friends or family members.
Thus, if you want to have a large circle of close friends in your life, whether they are your contemporaries, you senior or junior, you need to first establish generosity/charity in yourself towards others around you. This way you will have true friends even death could not part from you.
Shortages that mankind has been experiencing fall into 4 categories:
1) The lack of wealth.
2) The lack of positive outlook.
3) The lack of know-how (technology and skills).
And 4) The more the success, the less the private security.
Once you can help replenish the four basic shortages of people you are in contact with, you can gain their true friendship.
But I must say it is a painstaking work to fulfill the above needs. People have tendencies to experience shortage of material things all the time as the result of not sharing or giving enough in previous lives, However, through open-handedness, the hardship can be overcome.
The second issue is about the lack confidence when facing obstacles.
To worst way to undermine people’s confidence is through condemning and disparaging speech. On the contrary, the most effective method to boost people’s spirit is nothing more than cheerful speech. Thus, The Lord Buddha said one should always speak kindly to each other in order to cement the bond of friendship.
Moreover, the more we progress, the more we need know-how to overcome obstacles since the gap between know-how and its implementations keeps increasing. Therefore, whoever is able to help us with advanced knowledge, we will appreciate his kindness forever.
The Lord Buddha taught one should always help others with one’s talent and ability i.e.. To be useful to others. This means to share know-how.
The last and most serious issue is if one has reached new heights especially at national or global scale, the less personal security one has, particularly from social environment and hidden enemies. So whoever can ensure one security would be treasured. In conclusion, the four forms of benevolent behavior are:
1) To share what one has with others.
2) To speak only kind words to others with encouragement and positive suggestions.
3) To generously share the knowledge and know-how with others.
And 4) To be consistent.
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