Remember My Word. Yes, I Will

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CASE STUDY

Dear Luang Phaw whom I respect the most,

I am a student of Dream in Dream Kindergarten through DMC satellite from Deggendorf, Germany. Due to DMC satellite, my life has turned from a dark side to a bright side. I changed from the one who sold people and was infatuated in every path to ruins to a good person who walks on a virtuous path.

I came from a farmer’s family in Prachin Buri Province. In my family, there were 9 children—7 daughters and 2 sons, and I was the biggest daughter of the family. My father was a good-looking flirter, and my mother was his 3rd wife. Since I was old enough to remember, I saw that my father was drunk all the time except when he slept. Whenever he was drunk, he would hit my mother and us.

My life has been difficult since my childhood. Back then, I had to wake up at 3 AM to do farm works and my father, with his punishing rod, would force me to work the whole day.

At my 16 years of age, I was forced by my father to marry somebody I didn’t love and didn’t even know, so I decided to run away to Bangkok and worked there for about 4 years before a problem came to my life.

The story was one day I was asked by my female friend to make a trip to an upcountry and I went with her because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. When we arrived there, two men were waiting for us—one was her boyfriend and the other one was his friend.

After meeting her boyfriend, my friend didn’t pay attention to me anymore and left me with her boyfriend’s friend. I was so scared and tense and had a strong desire to go back to Bangkok but I had no clue how. I waited until late night, but my friend was still there without showing anything that she would take me back until her boyfriend’s friend told me that he could take me to a bus station; but when we arrived there, the service of that day was already over, so he asked me to stay overnight in a hotel. Back then, I was too innocent and didn’t know what a hotel was. That night was the night I was raped; and after that incident, I had to return to my hometown with hurt feelings.

Soon after I was back home, when I was 23 years old, I was forced by my father to get married again with a guy who was 20 years older than me because he, in my father’s opinion, was a well-to-do, diligent and nice guy. At that time, I had to get married without love and could live with him only for 1 month before my patience was over, so I ran away to Bangkok again and found work in a beauty salon.

And there, I got to meet a good-looking man who was 3 years younger than me. One day, he asked me to watch a movie with him. When I came back to the salon, it was about 2 AM and the salon was locked; no matter how many times I rang the bell and knocked the door, no body opened the door.

After waiting outside and suffering with mosquitoes for a while, he asked me if I’d like to stay overnight in a hotel. I didn’t know what to do by that time since I couldn’t contact anybody and I was so tired by sitting among a bunch of mosquitoes, so I decided to stay overnight in a hotel with him; and then a love accident happened that caused us to get married without love until we had children together.

Soon after having the first baby, I had the second pregnancy but I decided to get an abortion because I was not sure if I could take good care of the future baby; but later I still had another pregnancy which I also desired to give it an abortion; but no matter how hard I tried, it was not aborted but; besides, the baby was in my womb for 10 months and was perfectly born as my second daughter.

During that time, my life was very horrible from the starvation and difficulties because my husband was a flirter who also liked to go clubbing and gamble. At the end of each month, he would already spend all of his money. Good thing we still had a 150 Baht (about $3.75) electrical fan that we could take to a pawnshop and trade it for 50 Baht (about $1.25) to buy milk and food for our 2 baby girls, and we would redeem it back when we had money, but at the end of each month, we had to take it to the pawnshop again. It happened in a row for a year until the pawnshop’s owner told me “You don’t have to sign your name anymore because I already can remember your face.”

Later, my husband had an accident while inflating a truck’s tires. A tire burst and its iron plate hit his chest that caused him to die instantly when he was only 23 years old. So I gave my daughters in my mother’s care. Meanwhile, I was asked by one of my friend to work in Germany as a maid. I worked there for about a year and returned back to Thailand when I made enough money to pay for the return trip.

When I was back to Thailand, I became an agent who sent teenage ladies to work overseas. I completely changed from an orderly person who never associated with any path to ruins to a lady who liked to go clubbing, drink, smoke and gamble. I knew all kinds of wayward powerful people and spent money extravagantly. I also had no clue like others why I changed so much like that.

After that I worked with a friend who owned a bar in Phuket, and I got to know a German guy. He liked me so much that he would like to marry me, so I made another trip back to Germany.

While waiting for the papers to get married, I was helped about the documents by his friend who worked with the Revenue Department. When he first met me, he gave me a friendly smile that looked warm and trustful. Our relationship kept growing until it became love, and my life came to the point to make a decision that caused me to think about many things.

The first one I intended to marry with was 8 years younger than me. Compared to the present one who was my age and had a stable job, also we both loved each other and marriage was such a big thing in my life that I didn’t want to make mistake again when I still had a right to choose, I decided to marry with the present one.

After getting marriage, my husband loved me so much and gave me money without letting me work. I became a social lady who changed many cars, watched TV and sipped expensive wine the whole day. Other than that, I also won a lotto that gave me 100,000 Euros.

I had a daughter with him. When our daughter turned 1 year old, my husband lost his job from corruption. After that, he ran a private business but he still wasn’t successful. My life completely changed from a high point to the ground and all our saving money was gone in a short time. We gained debts instead. I was very sorrowful and stressed out. The more I was serious, the stronger and the more wine I drank. When my husband made only a little money that was not enough to buy wine for me, I would splash water at his face, yell at him, hit him, pluck his hair and pound his head until he cried. I couldn’t believe that a guy could cry.

But no matter how much he cried, he was never angry with me and never hurt me back. Back then, I was like a mean person. After hurting him, I always told him “Remember it.” and he briefly replied me “I will.” I looked at the newspaper everyday where he could find discounted wine to buy for me.

One day, my heart changed when I met a Kalayanamitta (good friend). She asked me to visit her house and turned on Dream in Dream Kindergarten in internet for me. I was very impressed with Luang Phaw who looked so bright and graceful. I heard some teachings that clicked my mind and saw pictures of purgatory. Right after I saw the picture of purgatory authorities, I recognized that I already saw this picture before.

When I was about 5 years old, when my father was drunk, I clasped around his neck and looked at the front door, and there I saw a standing big black guy wearing red cloth and carrying a long sword, so I told my father “Dad, somebody is here.”, but my father couldn’t see him. This picture was always in my mind. But though I could recognize it, I still didn’t completely believe.

When I came back home, a teaching of Luang Phaw sprang up in my mind “Though you don’t believe, you should still perform good things just in case.” This word changed me to quit drinking since then up to now. My husband didn’t believe it. He told me he was sure that I couldn’t stand living without drinking wine, but now I have proved that I could make it.

I quit all bad things and became his good wife who had only good speech without ever yelling at my husband again. I even bowed at his feet with a flower bowl and said “I treated you badly before. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me and I will not do it again.” He paused and his tears started flowing. He could realize the virtue of Buddhism that could change me. Without Dhamma satellite, without Kalayanamitta, I wouldn’t have these beautiful days.

Nowadays, through Dhamma satellite, I can watch Luang Phaw’s teaching everyday. I become a good student who does homework everyday, observes 5 precepts as usual and observes 8 precepts on every Buddhist day of worship on each quarter moon day. I meditate everyday both in the mornings and in the evenings. Besides, on Buddhist days of worship, I meditate almost the whole day.

My meditation experiences progress a lot. After I close my eyes, my mind becomes peaceful and concentrates real fast and I feel like I am sucked into a bright funnel. The more my mind concentrates, the brighter the funnel is, as bright as the moonlight. In the brightness, there are many clear crystal balls which are in many sizes and that gives me a big happiness that I cannot explain. My tear flows without crying. Having this experience, I can meditate for a few hours in a row without any pain.

Questions:

1. What retribution caused me to have a drunkard father and have a difficult life since my childhood? I was forced by my father and his punishing rod to work in the farm since early mornings, was raped and forced to get married.

2. Why did my first husband have a short life? What retribution gave him death by being hit by an iron tire plate? Where did he go after he died? What merit can I make to help him?

3. What retribution did my first 2 daughters have that made them fatherless and couldn’t live with their moth? What merit saved my second daughter from being aborted, but she still had to be in my womb for 10 months?

4. Why did I have a happy and rich life though my career was selling people which was not a right livelihood?

5. What deed did I have with my present husband that caused us to be together? And why was he mad at me and didn’t harm me back when I harmed him? Was it because of his retribution or my merit? Can the action I performed by asking for his forgiveness with a flower bowl decrease the retribution I will have in my next lives?

6. What merit caused me to win the lotto, and what retribution caused me to get poor in a short time?

7. Who was the black guy wearing red cloth that I saw in my childhood and why did he show up?

8. I love meditation so much and my mind can concentrate real fast because of my meditation from my previous lives? If I did, why did I make so many mistakes in this life? And how can I solve these retributions?

9. How can I be freed from all retributions when I can attain Dhammakaya? I heard that even some Arahants who were freed from all defilements still got affected by retributions’ actions that caused them to die. Why couldn’t they solve they retributions though they already attained Arahantship?

10. How did my husband, my youngest daughter and I pursue perfection with our merit-making group? Do we have any chance to follow Luang Phaw to the special merit zone of Tusita (the 4th level of heaven) and pursue perfection with our group in every life? Does my youngest daughter have enough merit to fully walk on this merit path?

11. Do the Kalayanamitta who asked me to come to the temple and always take me to do every activity of the temple and I have any relationship before in our previous lives?

Thanks a lot to Luang Phaw whom I respect the most. I wish Luang Phaw a good health to be our Dhamma sun that brings brightness to the whole world and be our will power forever and ever.

Luang Phaw's Dream

I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)

1. You had a drunkard father and had a difficult life since your childhood, was forced by your father to work in the farm since early mornings, was raped and forced to get married because when you were a guy, you also did what your father did, i.e. drinking, flirting, raping women and forcing your descendants to work and punishing them when you were not satisfied with the works.

Besides, you didn’t perform donation constantly. You had a difficult life when you were a kid because it was when the fruit of stinginess took action and also you liked to force your descendants to marry the people who could give advantage to you. These retributions took action.

2. Your first husband had a short life and died from being hit by an iron tire plate because of his own killing retribution; for instance, in one life, he was a hunter who liked to trap animals by pit traps. When an animal fell into a pit trap, he would throw rocks to that animal until it died. Other than that, in a few lives after he could be freed from the unfortunate realms, he became a fisherman and bombed many fish. These retributions took action.

After his death, he was still in the world for 7 days before being taken by purgatory authorities to the 6th major hell because of his gambling retribution. And he still has to go to many major hells after that because he broke every precept.

Currently, he is being hit by gambling equipments and thrown by hot iron equipments from purgatory authorities. Now he is suffering in a flaming pit.

You need to perform every merit and often transfer this merit to him for his punishment will be increased.

3. Your first 2 daughters were fatherless and couldn’t live with their mother because in their past lives, they performed similar deeds but they were not siblings. They fought with the parents and ran away from their family with an idea that they didn’t want parents to tell and teach them anymore. This retribution took action.

Your second daughter didn’t get aborted and stayed in your womb for 10 months because she performed an abortion in her life, so this retribution caused her to face the same thing, but she could survive because of the merit that she helped a nursing cow that her neighbor wanted to sell for slaughter.

4. Your career was selling people which was not a right livelihood but your life was rich and happy because when you performed both worldly and Buddhist donations in your previous lives, you usually didn’t make a well-considered wish, so your retribution of associating with the fools from your previous lives took action and caused you to be in the environment of selling people which was not the right livelihood, and the merit from the donations your performed as mentioned took action and gave you the richness in this present life, but you became your new retribution.

5. You and your present husband got to be together because in the life that you were a well-to-do guy who drank, flirted and hit your descendants to work and get married, this husband of yours was one of your descendants who was punished a lot but he still obeyed you because of his loyalty he had with you. Later, he supported him until he had a good life that impressed him a lot. He promised to serve you for your gratitude in your next lives. In this life, you become a woman because of your own sensual retribution, he still come with you to serve you with his loyalty.

That you harmed him, but he didn’t harm you back because the same diagram from your previous life as mentioned came with you and he had present love and previous loyalty to you. This circle of existence is this weird. From an uncle and a nephew, you both become spouses.

That you harmed him, but he didn’t harm you back because the same diagram from your previous life as mentioned came with you and he had present love and previous loyalty to you. This circle of existence is this weird. From an uncle and a nephew, you both become spouses.

The action that you asked for his forgiveness with a flower bowl can increase the present demerit you performed with him.

6. You won a lotto that gave you a lot of money because in a previous life, after performing donations, you always made a wish to win the lotto, and your wish never came true in that life, but that merit took action in this life.

Soon after that, you became poor because you were lacking of perfection of donation, and the deed of stinginess from your previous lives took action and caused you to love assets.

7. The black guy who wore red cloth that you saw when you were a kid was a purgatory authority who intended to pick up your father; but since your father had merit from supporting ordination, he couldn’t be taken.

You could see him because your mind was innocent.

8. You like meditation so much and your mind becomes concentrated real fast because you also meditated in your previous lives. When this merit took action, you could easily have good meditation experiences.

But sine you also performed bad deeds in the same time, when your came to temples and performed merit, you also associated with the fools, drank, flirted, gambled, went clubbing, etc., your present life turn this way.

9. When you attain Dhammakaya, you will be freed from retributions because the merit from attaining Dhammakaya will decrease the retributions you have and some retributions will be completely gone.

But if your adversary has a strong desire to revenge; like an Arahant named Phra Pahiya who got horned and killed by a cow incarcerated by a female ogre or an Arahant named Mokkhalana who performed one Anantariyakamma (the 5 worst sins with heaviest punishment), it will be your last life to get its fruit.

Even the Lord Buddha still suffered from some little retribution given by Mara when the Lord Buddha still had his body.

10. You, your husband and your youngest daughter pursued perfection in the division of provisions of our group but not constantly. That was why we met only in some lives.

As I mentioned, your youngest daughter pursued perfection with our group before, so you need to keep her in this virtuous path and become her good model for her to walk on the same way.

11. The Kalayanamitta who asked you to come to the temple and always takes you to attain every activity of the temple was also your Kalayanamitta in your previous lives. For example, in the last Buddhist interval, she was your elder sister and you were her brother; she always asked you to perform good deeds with our merit-making group, but you didn’t join the temple in a row and that caused you to be away from our group for 1 Buddhist interval.

During that time, you performed many demerits and caused you to become a woman; but due to the merit you performed with our merit-making group, you got to meet us again. Therefore, you must not be careless in your life, so that your life will not be difficult again.

Since we have met again in this life, you need to pursue perfection with all your might and make a wish to follow our group to the special merit zone of Tusita, the land of Bodhisattva and never stray away from our group.