Blessing Eleven:
Cherishing our parents
Cherishing our parents
B. WHY SHOULD WE WANT TO CHERISH OUR PARENTS?
B.1 Rationale
When we start out in our career of self-development, it is not obvious what goodness is. In the initial blessings, we have had to orientate ourselves to virtue without really knowing what virtue is — let alone being able to identify virtue in ourselves. In the beginning, even to be able to associate with good people is a blessing, because some of their virtues might brush off on us too. In the beginning we might not be aware of the virtues in ourselves — it being much easier to perceive the virtues of others. The Buddha intended us to take a hard look at our own parents who have done so much for us — because everyone has parents and everyone has received benefit at their hands. Thus, for our parents more than for others, virtue will be easy for us to identify. If we are able to recognize, repay and announce the goodness of our parents, our familiarity with such virtue will become all the stronger. Later when we are able to see the good in our parents, we will be able to see the good in others. When we are able to see the good in others we will be able to see the good in ourselves and develop it further — according to the techniques found in the higher blessings. Unless we are sensitive to a greater or lesser extent to the goodness other people express to us, we have little chance of increasing the sensitivity to the goodness that lies within ourselves. There is no-one in the world who has done as much for one as one’s parents, so if one is unable to respond to the good they have done one, then it is unlikely that one will be able to perceive good in anything else at all. If our debt of gratitude to our parents is as large as this and we are unable to see, it shows that we must be severely blinded to the good of others.
B.2 Taking care of our parents is the most fundamental of virtues
Repaying the debt of gratitude to our parents is such a fundamental virtue, that the people of old used it as a benchmark for judging strangers. Sometimes one has to know someone for a long, long time before one can really say we know such a person in depth. However, if you meet someone for the first time and you find out that they neglect their parents, you can be sure that they are unlikely to have any interest in helping anyone less closely related.
B.3 We will be cared for by our children
If you recognize and repay the debt of gratitude you have to your parents, apart from gaining personal virtue, you will also set a good example for your own children — and they in turn will want to take care of you when you become feeble in your old age.
B.4 Richness of heart helps meditation progress
Many people meditate for many years without being able to make any progress — sometimes their mind has a continuous feeling of “dryness”. However, if upon learning about the debt of gratitude they have to their parents, they take steps to repay it, it often creates a “richness” of mind which allows them to progress again in their meditation.
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