Meditation for BeginnersQualifications of Good Children#1How to raise children to be good children.All parents hope that their children will be “good kids,” which may include being well educated, skilled, talented, well behaved, and ethical, have good self esteem, are mature, independent and never needing to beg for anything, and being a useful member of society and the world.To raise children in such a manner, parents must know:“How to raise children to be good children.”Parents who can raise children well are those who know:1) How to be good children.2) How to raise children to be good.Once parents realize the answers, they will have a standard with which to raise children. They hope in their minds that they will dedicate wholeheartedly and continuously their best effort through the formative years to produce such outstanding adults. Unless the parents know the correct method to accomplish this, there will be more of a chance that they will raise the children carelessly. The outcome is that those innocent children could be raised mistakenly.The two factors for parents to utilize when raising children are the most crucial ones:1) Children Are Bad Or2) Parents Don’t Know How To Raise ThemBefore proceeding to discuss these two factors, there’s a case study about an angry mother. After reading her story, ask yourself if you have ever experienced this kind of situation or not.Ten years ago, there was a temple staff member going to visit his hometown, in Ang Tong province. While walking along the Choa Praya River, near his home he saw a 30 year old mother cruelly whipping her son.The child who was a mere 4-5 years old and not yet even in kindergarten riled and cried, but the mother went on beating him heavily.After the temple staff member witnessed this incident, he thought that the mother beat the boy because of her own anger. He thought this was detrimental to the child. This child subsequently might be influenced by his mother’s emotions and become a hot-tempered adult later on in life.The temple staff member decided to talk to her by paying his respects and asking her, “What did your child do? Why do you have to administer such a serious punishment?”The mother answered angrily, “He doesn’t want to be good so he has to be beaten.”The temple staff member wanted to help both the child and the mother by assisting the mother to think rationally and to teach the child sensibly, and help her child not to be hurt unnecessarily. So he asked the mother, “Have you ever taught him how to be a good boy?”He doesn’t want to be good so he has to be beaten.The mother was speechless from that question. She replied, “Never!”The question worked, and the stick was slowly lowered down.The temple staff member went on asking, “You have never taught him, so how could he know how to be good? How about this? I’m interested in dhamma study and I go to temple quite often, however, I still can’t tell what is involved in practicing to be a good man. Could you explain to me how to do that?”The mother was speechless again and replied, “I couldn’t explain that either.”I replied,“Sister, we are mature, but we still can’t tell exactly how to be good. Why bother with your little child?”After the conversation, the temple staff member pain respects to the mother and went on walking. The mother stopped beating the child and took him to bather at the river.From this case study, parents might realize that raising children to be good people is not easy at all. The important issue is : Is it that the children don’t want to be good or that the parents don’t know how to raise the children to be good?The Nature of ParentsOur grandparents know the heart of Buddhism so they recommended the way to raise children effectively to us. The first thing is the target. We have to know, “What will we teach them to be?”If we don’t know what we will want them to be, there are more chances to lose track of teaching them.The disadvantages will be passed onto the innocent children later on.Generally, when parents have babies, they'll hope that the babies will "not be bad." This hope will be there from when the children are babies until they develop, grow and mature. This is the nature of parents.Since giving birth to a baby, parents hope that the baby will be safe during delivery. Then from newly born age until 6 years of age, another hope is that the child will not be handicapped. If the child has slow physical development, the parents will be unable to sleep or eat well. If the child speaks slowly then the parent’s inclination will be to speak for the child.At 6-12 years of age, parents will hope that the child will not be naughty, will pay attention in school, and will want to be good. If the child can meet their expectations then the parents will be happy.Qualifications Of Good ChildrenAt 13-18 years of age, parents don’t only hope that their teenager will not misbehave or be naughty but that they will also have high grades at school and will not be interested in all divisive activities such as gambling and drugs.At 19-22 years of age, after graduating college they will look a job and work. Parents hope that their young adults will be talented and hired by a reputable company so that they can earn enough money to take care of themselves well, without resorting to association with gangsters.If the children pursue their lives according to the parent’s wishes then the parents will be quite happy that they raised the children well. That is the natural hope of all parents that their children would turn out the way they had hoped.When the children are mature and ready to get married, parents hope that they will have a warm family without any kinds of problems. If ther are problems then the mother will have a broken heart.When the children are 30-40 years old, they are pretty stable in their lives. Parents should be able to let go of all the worries regarding their children, but in fact parents will always have a small hope that their children could have a better life, get prompted in their job, be a Prime Minister, etc.The hope of the parents is always of this nature and never end never ending. It is like this for every generation. The most important factor is that parents try to raise their childrenThe way they want them to be throughout each phase of their upbringing. The parents try to raise them with the fundamental qualities to apply into their future until they can be successfully independent.Qualifications Of Good ChildrenOur grandparents understand the qualifications of the Lord Buddha through three factors:1) Pra Borisuthtikoon (purity).2) Pra Punyatikoon (cleverness).3) Pra Mahakarunatikoon (Kindness).They used these factors as the main guidelines for raising their children. These factors can be translated by the following:1) Mai Sab (from pra Borisuthtikoon).2) Mai Sgo (from pra Punyatikoon).3) Mai Lang Num Jai (from pra Mahakarunatikoon).If parents can plant these basic seed factors in childrens’ minds, they’ll grow up in the big wide world and be happy. They can develop their lives and work effectively by themselves.Our grandparents define each qualification in the following manner:" /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " />
Qualifications of Good Children#1
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