Cannot Live Without Your Smile

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CASE STUDY

I am Thai living in a foreign country so called Golden City, which is in Johannesburg, South Africa. I have known Dhammakaya Community from a teaching monk who provides Dhammakaya outreach in Johannesburg since 2006. Majority of the people in this country are black.

I am from Udonthani province. I am the third daughter among six siblings. I am thirty years old. My childhood life was comparable to a young plant in dry season. My family was in the rough and was poor. My father who was the main supporter of the family passed away at forty-one years with heart attack when I was 4 to 5 years old.

Before he died, he was like a sleeping man and free of breath. As a result, my mother had to work hard to raise all kids by herself. She did laundry, iron, and housework for earnings. She got paid by month, which was insufficient to raise the family.

Sometimes, my sister had rice with a sweet and condensed milk. Even to buy Shrimp paste or fish sauce, we had to owe a grocery shop regularly. We postponed the payment until the owner was submissive. Although there was a sign said “Cash Only”, we temporarily pretended not to understand it. We always did this.

Since I started to go to school, I had to wait for my mother to bring me lunch at school. If my mother was busy with work, I would not get to eat, and I would just drink water. It had been going on since my 1st Grade to 6th Grade. After finishing 9th Grade, I quit school to help out the family.

While working as Sales Associate at a Department Store, I met a man who had a sweet talk. We had been dating for six years and almost got married. However, that man was not honest as he secretly dated with someone else. One day, he got busted and promised that he would not do it anymore. After dusk, his promise was gone and got a new date.

This time, I decided to absolutely break up with that short-memory man. I was very hurt and shy from his lying. I wanted to crumple grass with my palm.

This had changed my life as I decided to search for experiences in a foreign country. My friends had invited me to many places; however, I chose South Africa as it was an easy place to immigrate. I was only twenty-year-old at that time and did not know English much. I did not even know my future, just wanted to survive.

During the first part of my life in South Africa, I have moved in with my friends. One day, I visited the Department Store and dine-in in a restaurant.

I met the man who made my life change at this restaurant.
One man walked by and looked at me. I did not know what to do, so I just smiled to him. I had never thought that only one smile would have him sit in my mind.

At the beginning, I did not feel anything to him, but he accused me that I was the one who makes him fall in love. He followed me around with one reason that he could not live without seeing me smile.

The first gift from him was cellular phone; even though I could not speak his language and could speak only “Yes...No...Ok”.
While he followed me, he was very shy. He followed me back to Thailand, where he told me that he would like to travel and learn how to do business in Thailand. He also visited my family. After that we often met and became close to each other more. One year later, he proposed me, and I also fell in love with him.

We went to marry in South Africa. That was where to begin my new life again. My life after marriage was very simple at the beginning. My husband had worked in too many companies. Later on he resigned his job because he did not like to be employed by someone. At that time, I was also an employee, and I was cheated of my wage after half year of working. That made me and my husband discouraged in our life, but we fight again when my husband went to rent a coffee shop to sell Thai food in a gas station.

At first, we had only 4 tables, after that we increased to 10 tables. Our Thai restaurant was getting better and well known. I was a chef and waitress, and my husband was an order taker and waiter.
We have only delicious food in our restaurant like “Papaya Salad”. Then one day, our ‘simple couple’ reached a turning point when a Casino manager from a branch in USA met at our restaurant and told my husband to open Thai restaurant in their Casino.

In 2004, I opened Thai restaurant in Casino, which is in an Entertainment complex. My business was getting better and better, and I have 4 branches. My husband is an African. Before we got married, he was married twice and has two twin boys with second wife already. After 25 years of his married life, he divorced his wife because she had an affair, which was the same time as we began to know each other. After that; not long ago, his wife was upset about her new love with new husband, and she finally committed suicide with a gun. Subsequently, his younger son, who was 26 years old, decided to end his life the same way and for same reason as his mother, which was upset about love.

Questions

1) Where has my father been reborn after passing away?
Has he received the merits that I dedicated to him?
Has he had any message to me?

2) Why was my life during childhood tough? How should I resolve this?

3) Why was my mother in difficulty since she was young?

What should I do so she will be happy in the last stage of her life?

4) Where has my husband’s former wife been reborn? Has she had any message to him?

Not long after her death, my husband dreamt that she came to visit him. Did she really come to see him?

5) What retribution caused the younger twin son of my husband and his former wife commit suicide like his mother did? Where has he been reborn after passing away? Has he had any message to my husband?

Even presently my husband can still see his son around. He said he could communicate with his son. Does his son really come to visit him?

6) My husband dedicates to work very much which makes him easy to be stressful. For instance, he felt annoyed when he met many people. Then he complained behind people’s back and this makes him stressed. When he is stressful, he will talk in violent ways. He has been this way for long. What kamma caused him to be like this? How can he fix this?

7) Why does my husband feel connected to Thailand and Buddhism very much? Had he ever been born in Thailand and had faith in Buddhism?

8) My husband read an English version book written by Khun Yay Acharn Upasika and doubts what Mara is, where Mara is and why we have to fight with Mara.

9) How had I and my husband support each other in the past so we meet in this life and have business together in the country where it is hard to invest in business?

How had I and my husband pursued perfection with the Dhammakaya community? What were our duties in Dhamma army? What should we do to survivingly follow the community to pursue perfection?

10) I and my husband have determination to establish Thai temple in Johannesburg. Do I have enough merit to conduct this successfully? What should we do to achieve it?

11) I was very impressed and have faith in the teaching monk the first time I met him when he came to spread Dhamma in this place.

Had he been a virtuous friend of me and the community in Johannesburg in the past? How had we accrued merits together?

We live far away from each other, how did he make his way through to lead us to the bright way?

I would like to pay my highest respects to Luang Phaw.

Luang Phaw's Dream

I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about

retribution (Law of Kamma)

1) Your father was wandering around for a while after he passed away and later he was born as a human so he cannot receive your dedicated merits. He does not have any message for you as well.

2) Your childhood was tough because, in the past life, you were a daughter of a wealthy man but you were stingy and conceited, as a result of these retributions, you have a tough childhood. Therefore, you have to offer generosity (dana) regularly and be humble to good moral people and triple gems, etc.

3) Your mother’s childhood was tough because of her past stingy kamma. She had been stingy for many past lives and these retributions consequently cause her have a tough childhood in this life.

Therefore, you have to tell her to offer generosity (dana) continuously and be joyful in all merits she has accrued both before and after offering so that these merits will support her to have happy life in all stages of her life; i.e. childhood, teenage, adulthood, middle-age and old age.

4) After passing away, your husband’s former wife was brought to purgatory of major hell in a level dedicated for killing kamma from her committing suicide kamma. She is being forced by purgatory staff to commit suicide over and over again by shooting herself. She is suffering considerably.

She had a message to your husband that she is suffering a lot and would like to leave this place.
She did not visit your husband as your husband told you. It was just because of his hindrance mind thinking of her.

5) The younger twin son of your husband and his former wife committed suicide like his mother did because of his past kamma. He also committed suicide when he was heartbroken for many past lives in different ways so in this life he chose to solve the problem by shooting himself to commit suicide. This is his previous blue print that has followed him.

After passing away, he was brought to purgatory of major hell in the same level as his mother. This major hell level offers many types of suicide dedicated for people with committing suicide kamma. He is being forced by purgatory denizen to commit suicide over and over again like his mother is. He is suffering considerably. He had a message to your husband that he is suffering a lot and would like to leave this place.

He did not visit your husband since he passed away. Your husband told you like that because he loves and connects to his son so he thought to himself that it was true.

6) Your husband dedicates to work very much which makes him easy to be stressful. When he is stressful, he will talk in violent ways. This is because of the way he was raised in childhood where he was scolded violently and he failed in his marriage 2 times so he accumulates stress, and is pessimistic to the world. All of these happen in the present life.

Therefore, you should tell him to correct himself by meditation often, spread loving kindness to everyone, do not waste time to think or talk about bad things or treat people around him badly, try to look only at good aspects of people everyday and it will make the remaining of his life happier.

7) Your husband feels connected to Thailand and Buddhism because he had accrued merits with you in the past life and because he loves you. Since you are Thai so whatever involves with you he also loves it, especially, the merits he had accrued with you influences his business to be successful so that he even loves you more and has tighter connection with you as well as things involving with you; i.e. being Thai, Buddhism which is national religion and you have faith in, etc. However, he was not born as Thai in the past life but he used to have faith in Buddhism.

8) Your husband read an English version book written by Khun Yay Acharn Upasika and doubts what Mara is, where Mara is, why we have to fight with Mara. I will briefly explain because your husband does not have foundation in Buddhism.

Mara is someone who obstructs you from doing good deeds. There are 5 categories which are 1) obstacles caused by mental defilement [Kilesamara], 2) physical limitations [Khandhamara], 3) obstacles personified [Devaputaramara], 4) obstacles in the form of curtailed life [Muccumara], 5) damaging previous reputation as an obstacle to one’s present of good deeds [Abhisankharamara].
1) Obstacles caused by mental defilements [Kilesamara] are greed (Lobha), hatred (Dosa) and delusion (Moha) which are rooted from ignorance.
2) Physical limitations [Khandhamara] are five Aggregates [Pa¤cakkhandha]. The five casually conditioned elements of existence are forming a being or entity, corporeality, feeling, perception, mental formations and consciousness.
3) Obstacles personified [Devaputaramara] are from a group of angels who prevent us from doing good deeds.
4) Obstacles in the form of curtailed life [Muccumara] or death which prevent us from doing good deeds.
5) Damaging previous reputation as an obstacle to one’s present of good deeds [Abhisankharamara] or past retribution which lessens good deeds.

All of these are inside us. The reason that we have to fight a chief evil [banamara] is because we would like to escape from being occupied by it or from being in this state.

9) You and your husband used to be husband and wife in the past life. You and he were young girl and boy of good behaviour who accrued merits with Dhammakaya community in the last Buddha aeon. As a result from being supporters of the community as aforementioned, you and your husband, therefore, are successful in business in this life.

If you want to survivingly follow the community, you should accrue all merits and do not miss any merits as well as make a wish to follow the community everyday because a chance to meet the community is very difficult.

10) For your and your husband’s determination to build Thai temple in Johannesburg, it is possible to be a success. You and your husband regularly have to be virtuous friends and search for meritorious people to mentally, physically and financially join you with clear, calm and patient mind. Also, you both have to meditate and make a wish everyday and walk forward with determination as well as follow slogan “No “enabling”, can not “enabling”, try hard to obtain “enabling” and obtain better than the best.”

11) The teaching monk was an ordination king’s soldier. He followed the king to ordain and had duty to spread Dhamma in other states. He was a virtuous friend of you and your family. He had meditation progress towards attaining crystal clear Dhammakaya which made him be able to safely return to the fourth level of heaven [Tusita] and came down to pursue perfection two rounds.

Since we have met each other in this life, therefore you must try to pursue perfection in all merits with fullest efforts and make a wish to follow the Dhammakaya community to the fourth level of heaven [Tusita], in the special merit zone – bodhisatta as well as do not be apart from each other again.