" /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " />Cherishing our Husband or Wife # 2Gifts express the love of a husband for his wife and his appreciation of her virtues.Five Duties of a Husband to His Wife1. He must praise his wife:He must praise his wife in secret. Once a man is married he should show off his wife to the public. He should have a proper, lawful registration of his marriage. He should be careful to treat his wife with respect and not criticizing her personally in front of others.2. He must never look down on his wife:Even though a couple is married it dose not mean that a husband will have an attitude of respect towards his wife. Sometimes he may look down on her or even treat her like a slave or a pet animal. Thay a husband restrains himself from looking down on his wife in any way shows his responsibility for the dignity of others.3. He must never be unfaithful:Because a husband is a man of virtue it goes wi8thout saying the he refrains from the Four the Four Defiling Actions (kammakilesa): killing, stealing, adultery and telling lies. Thus he will never be unfaithful to his wife, because doing so would destroy his own dignity and the dignity of his wife.4. He should trust his wife with her own responsibilities:To demonstrate his sincerity and trust for his wife, a husband must give his wife the final word on the organization of the household and family without interfering. If his wife is a “working mother” it does not make her less responsible for the affairs of the home and the family, but both husband and wife will need to come to an agreement, according to the principles of the “EBA”, whereby she can manage to keep on top of her domestic responsibilities without being overloaded.5. He should regularly bring his wife gifts:Gifts express the love of a husband for his wife and his appreciation of her virtues. Such generosity can mend many marriages and breathe new air into a relationship. A husband should take his wife shopping for things she wants to buy. He should encourage her to do the things she wants to do and allow her to get out of the house with her friends.The wife should see to it that the family becomes a heavenly mansion.Five Duties of a Wife to Her Husband1. She sees to the proper care of the family:The wife should see to it that the family becomes a heavenly mansion. It should be peaceful, appropriate to the taste, age and the health of the family members.2. She must take proper care of the ‘in-laws’:The wife must look after her in-laws especially well. She must be especially careful what she says to them because a few wrong chosen words can have serious consequences.3. She must never be unfaithful:Because a wife is a woman of virtue it goes without saying that she refrains from the Four Defiling Actions (kammakilesa): killing, stealing, adultery and telling lies. She would thus never be unfaithful to her husband, because doing so would destroy the dignity of herself and her husband.4. She must take good care of the shared wealth:A responsible wife should look after the shared wealth of the household, being neither extravagant nor stingy. This implies that the husband already goes out to work. He entrusts his wife with the money for the mutual administration of the family finances.5. She must be conscientious in her responsibilities:Having been entrusted with responsibility in both household and family affairs, she should see to it that these duties are properly fulfilled; rather than lazing around the house or doing other work and neglecting the household.At a wedding ceremony in Thailand, when the bride and groom receive the water that has been blessed they will wear a sacred cord that connects them together around their heads. It represents the unbreakable connection between the couple so that they will never be parted.Lord Buddha taught that the husband and wife are connected, not with a cord but with the heart. This virtue of having a loving heart is called sangahavatthu. When the husband and wife share and help each other, it will create two circles in each heart: one in the husband’s and the other in the wife’s heart. If they can follow these principles, no matter who wants to take them apart, it will never work. Death can only part them physically, but spiritually they will stay still together forever.Lord Buddha taught that the husband and wife are connected, not with a cord but with the heart.Ten Further Principles for a Happily Married LifeThe following is the ten-fold advice given to Lady Visakha by her father Dhanancaya on the day of her wedding:1. Do not let the fire inside go outside:Do not go spreading the secret problems of the house to the people outside it;2. Do not the fire outside come inside:Do not bring the gossip and problems from outside into the house, especially gossip that is of no benefit to the welfare of family members;3. Give to those who give to us:Help those who have helped us in the past, especially the partners of both the husband and wife. Let them borrow things. If you lend things to people and they return them punctually, you should lend things to them a second time;4. Do not give to those who give nothing to us:Do not lend things to people who never return them, return them late, of to those who in the past have refused to help us even though it is within their capability to do so;5. Whether they give or not, be generous anyway:Whether they have helped us before or not, if they are our relatives and they have fallen on hard times, we should help them anyway, It does not matter if they return the money given or not because their inability to return it is usually through circumstances beyond their control;6. Make sure that the food is amenable:Make sure the meals served to your family are nutritions. You may have to eat after your children have finished their meal, but if the whole family is well provided for, there will be no problems when it comes to food;A wrongly approached marriage can be a nightmare, turning the closest of lovers into the worst of enemies.7. Find and appropriate place to sit:This means the wife must know relative level of respect due to others for example it would be insulting to sit on a higher level than her in-laws;8. Find an appropriate place to sleep:You should make sure that the sleeping place of everyone in the family is comfortable. Be prepared to get up before anyone else in the family and go to sleep when anyone else has already gone to bed;9. Keep the fire going:That is to take special care of the in-laws and husband when they are “on fire” (i.e. in a bad temper) even if they should speak in an unpleasant way towards you. It is necessary to hold silence instead of answering back since saying the right thing at the wrong time will only make the situation worse. Sometimes the wife must wait until things have “uieted down” before explaining the real reason for a situation;10. Be respectful to the angels:Congratulate one’s husband when they do something good or have experienced good luck. Our words of encouragement should lead them to even better good deeds.The Benefits of Cherishing our Husband or Wife1. Ensure long lasting love;2. Create harmony in the family;3. Keep the family peaceful;4. Receive praise from all;5. Set a role model for generations to come.“A wrongly approached marriage can be a nightmare, turning the closest of lovers into the worst of enemies.By contrast, a properly fulfilled marriage will be long lasting,Avoiding the bitterness of divorce and creating blessings both for that couple and society as a whole.”
Cherishing our Husband or Wife # 2
[ 6 ก.ย. 2554 ] - [ 18263 ]
Desktop Version
