" /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " /> " />The Heart of the Family#4A marriage is dependent upon the sacrifice of two individuals.4) Sacrifice or caga is the means to correct the problem of selfishness.Charity means sacrifice.There are 3 types:1) Sacrifice of material objects2) Sacrifice of comfort3) Sacrifice of negative emotions, not keeping them in your mind. It is the basis for preparing one’s mind for meditation.Sacrifice means generosity in living together as a family. Placing the well-being of the family ahead of ourselves.A marriage is dependent upon the sacrifice of two individuals. If there is no sacrifice, then the family can not be supported. If a particular family does not practice sacrifice for the benefit of others in the family, and instead, take advantage of each other, it will be like they are living in a broken home.The basic sacrifice focuses on one’s livelihood, which is of great importance. In particular, the husband and wife must think about the overall happiness of the family more than their individual happiness.The foundations of livelihood are the Four Requisites. However, the most important aspects one must know before allocating funds for the Four Requisites are: One must be able to distinguish between what you want and what your family needs.If you do not know how to distinguish between what you want and what you need. Then your family will fall apart more and more every day. In the end there will be a feeling that one side was taken advantage of and the other side was selfish. Family members will end up living separately and they will not care about each other.For instance, suppose there is a family composed of a husband and a wife, but they do not have ay children. Their combined income is limited. Just one bottle of the wife’s perfume, and alcohol and wine for the husband reduces their budget for food every month. The feeling that each person is taken advantage of arises because they cannot distinguish between their individual desires and the needs of the family.Expensive perfume is unnecessary and luxurious. Alcohol and wine are one of the Roads to Ruin; they are substances that damage one’s health and are of negative value to society So if both the husband and the wife are unable to deem these expenses as unnecessary, it means that selfishness will bring damage to the family.A marriage is a life of budgets for the individual. One must have a foundation of sacrifice. But if one spends for one’ own personal desires, and the husband and wife do not combine their incomes from the beginning, that means that one is preparing go one’s separate way from the start because neither person is thinking of the shared family expenses. So why did you marry?Whenever you see luxurious items as necessary, the household budget will immediately suffer. That is called selfishness; it also creates many additional problems in the household.Marriage is not a game that boys and girls play, because as soon as you get married, the responsibility, the change, the endurance, and the sacrifice will immediately follow.for a family to have a stable foundation, family members must have sacrifice as the fourth habit.Therefore, a person who is thinking about marriage should be thinking about how prepared one’s future spouse is in two ways:1) Can you depend on your spouse when you are sick or if your life is at stake?2) Does your spouse have the knowledge, the ability, and a good enough character to support the family so that it is happy and to raise the children to be good people?These two factors are the basic sacrifices in a family.Today, people tend to marry more for personal needs rather than considering these two factors. It causes so many problems after they get married. Some couples will even become abusive and end up killing one another.Those who have not yet gotten married or are about to get married should carefully consider that when a couple is married, they should be able to depend on each other in sickness and old age. They must be able to care for one another. Marriage, therefore, must depend greatly on individual sacrifice.Furthermore, when the couple has a child, they must both sacrifice even more, because they have to set aside time for the children. This is what each person must prepare for even before marriage.People who are prepared for parenthood will analyze themselves in the following ways: We have knowledge, ability, and goodness, which we developed from training ourselves all our lives. Since we must die, when we become elderly, there must be someone to look after us. If we are to marry and have a family, we must use our knowledge, ability, and goodness to raise good children for the world. We can pass on our knowledge and goodness to them so that they can continue to live with strength in this world.Marriage is not just about sensual pleasure. This does not last. But because most people look for sexual satisfaction, the rate of divorce is high. Sexual satisfaction only exists in the earlier years of marriage.After one gets married, the foundation of one’s life lies in sacrifice for each other. If ever we become selfish towards each other, it wil be followed by divorce or murder.Sacrifice in marriage is sacrifice in order to care for the body and the mid. It is support for the body and the mind. And as a result, the marriage will be a happy one.Caring for each other physically means using the family’s income wisely, spending for household necessities, sharing, and sacrificing one’s happiness.Caring for each other mentally means knowing how to be considerate on a daily basis, being able to support others in times of crisis, being able to warn others when they become careless, and being able to be honest at all times.A couple that can take care of each other physically and mentally in this way will always sacrifice for the benefit of the family, such as with material objects, comfort, and bad moods, A harmonious environment will reside in the family as a result.Therefore, for a family to have a stable foundation, family members must have sacrifice as the fourth habit.With these4 four factors of Dhamma for Laypersons (Gharavas-dhamma), anyone contemplating finding a spouse, getting married, having a family, or anyone currently having family problems, must have the Dhamma for Laypersons as a foundation. Truthfulness, self-control, endurance, and sacrifice are the heart of the family. It is the vital heart that family members must have with them at alltimes in order for a family’s foundation to be stable from the beginning. Then, all family’s foundation to be stable from the beginning. Then, all family problems, such as suspicion, not keeping up with the world, not keeping up with people, surrendering to defilements, being tired of each other, and selfishness, will definitely not occur. The heart of the family will then beat continuously and powerfully." />" />" /> " />
The Heart of the Family#4
[ 29 ธ.ค. 2554 ] - [ 18256 ]
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